It’s bad enough that you have to deal with the mouth-breathers at your office five days a week. Now you’ve got to spend your hard-earned money on a Secret Santa present for them as well? Thank you, no. Express your displeasure with these fantastically snarky gift ideas.
CDs
Bonus points if they’re AOL installation CDs. [Image: shutterstock]
A Journal
For when you want to tell your co-worker, “I give precisely zero fucks about your opinion so here, write your feelings down in this book. Then burn it.” [Image: shutterstock]
VHS Boxsets
Because everybody loves legacy technology, right?
AAAA Batteries
Are these even a thing?
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Smoking Cessation Aids
Hint, Hint. [Image: shutterstock]
A Gym Membership
Because you’re fat, fatty. [Image: shutterstock]
Spanx
Because you’re fat, Ms. Fatty.
Match.com Subscription
It’s either this or rent you a hooker.
Sweatpants
These rank just below socks and neck ties on the scale of shitty clothing to receive. [Image: shutterstock]
Applebees giftcard
Because Guy Fieri’s American Bar and Grill is too good for you.
A Weight Watchers Subscription
You’ll need it after all that Applebee’s.
Breathe Right Anti-Snore Strips
A gentle reminder that maybe you shouldn’t sleep while at work.
