The Comfort Wipe: Because Basic Bodily Functions Are So Archaic

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It looks like Lisa Simpson's worst nightmare has come true. Now all of America can say, "I wash myself with a rag on a stick."

We especially feel awful for the actors in this infomercial. That poor fat guy has to implicitly say that wiping himself is a struggle without a candy-colored plastic stick, and then justify it by saying that being a fat guy has certain advantages, which is only true in the winter. Although after having used a bidet, I can say that we might be in need of some new butt-wiping technology: Three-ply just can't compare to a Super Soaker up the butt. [via Boing Boing Gadgets]