Truckload of Toilet Paper Goes Up in Flames

Illustration for article titled Truckload of Toilet Paper Goes Up in Flames
Image: Screengrab from the AP (YouTube)

In what appears to be a devastating traffic accident, an 18-wheeler truck loaded with toilet paper caught fire early this morning in the Dallas area. The driver told CBS 11 News that he hit a bump, and the truck rolled over, igniting “thousands of rolls” of toilet paper in his cargo. Firefighters quickly extinguished the flames. The driver, his dog, and firefighters are reportedly okay. Forlorn images of billowing smoke and charred bulk-sized toilet paper littered across the pavement and the roadside grass linger.


The driver, whose truck crashed in the Dallas suburb of Hutchins, told CBS 11 News that he was on his way to San Antonio.

This is the second inopportune toilet paper truck incident to make recent headlines; last week, another tractor-trailer reportedly strew hundreds of rolls of toilet paper across a stretch of highway in North Carolina, for reasons unknown.

The sight of hundreds of toilet paper segments flapping in the wind may incite some pangs of sorrow for those who’ve been respecting their bodega’s two-roll-per-customer rule. But truckers are on the front lines of America’s toilet paper hysteria, and they’ve reported that rest areas have shut down after the public looted their toilet paper stocks. Those areas, now subject to numerous new burdens and restrictions, are especially vital for showers and sleep after the Department of Transportation loosened regulations on maximum shift times for truckers transporting food and quarantine supplies, like toilet paper.

Staff reporter, Gizmodo. wkimball @ gizmodo


Arcanum Five

This is clear proof that there is no god, and if there is, that god is a malevolent one.