The Crazypants Synopsis to the Wachowskis' Next Movie Jupiter Ascending

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The Wachowski's next big movie, after Cloud Atlas, is titled Jupiter Ascending. The only details we had no the strange futuristic movie was that Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis were starring in it... until now.

Vulture has released what they are claiming is the synopsis for Jupiter Ascending. And it is bat-shit crazy:

A universe in which "human beings are just the Cro-Magnons, or even the Australopithecines, of what beings can ultimately go on to become in the galaxy. ... these higher forms of life are watching us from other, albeit this time non-meta worlds, but actual, other worlds, as in planets and moons."

The unlikely, reluctant heroine is a Russian immigrant (Mila Kunis) who is busily scrubbing toilets for a living. Unbeknownst to her, she actually possesses the same perfect genetic makeup as the Queen of the Universe and is therefore a threat to her otherwise immortal rule.

These evolved beings fall into various different groups, all of which share some human DNA but who have over centuries been bred with animal DNA to heighten their best characteristics-e.g., soldiers getting their fearlessness, strength, and a pack mentality from wolves; workers getting their industriousness and reputation for diligence from bees.

Pretty soon, a bounty hunter (Channing Tatum) of the evolved-being type is dispatched to dispose of Kunis' genetically blessed cleaning lady, but, as you'd expect with a Matrix re-dux, they fall in love. And for having fallen for his target, the bounty hunter gets targeted for extermination.


That is a truckload of nuts. But if anyone can pull it off the Wachowskis can... we hope. What do you think?