The Future of Tech Is Sideways Headphones

Photo: Shutterstock

For better or for worse, Silicon Valley is always on the hunt for The Next Big Thing. But while tech giants like Apple and Google have bet big on developing the latest wearable technology, the real future of smart devices may have been sitting right under our noses (or is it on top our heads???) all along.

As first noticed by founding Gawker editor Elizabeth Spiers, stock photo providers have long suggested that standard audio headphones slunk over a user’s eyes are the true next step in wearable tech. Looking at their mockups, it’s hard to disagree.

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“Cyber-man here, e-reporting for e-duty.”

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“Computer, what’s in front of me? I don’t know, having put on my headphones wrong.”

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“Look on my orb, ye Mighty, and despair! For I cannot, my vision being obstructed.”

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“Ah yes, everything is going according to plan! Or I assume it is, anyway.”

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“BEEP-BOOP, DOES NOT COMPUTE, TARGET NOT VISIBLE.”

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“You’re going to use this photo for an instruction manual or something, right? Just don’t make me look stupid.”

The future has never looked needlessly dimmer.

[Elizabeth Spiers]

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