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The Pirate Bay's Founders Are Going to a Prison That's Better than Your Life

Illustration for article titled The Pirate Bays Founders Are Going to a Prison Thats Better than Your Life

Not just any prison—Swedish prison. After fighting copyright infringement charges for years, the three gents behind the world's most notorious torrent site are headed to the slammer. Luckily, TPB lives, and Swedish prison is great!

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TorrentFreak reports the trio lost their final round of appeals, and will now have a few months to live in Swedish homogenous utopia before heading to their swanky new home: Swedish prison. That means soft lighting, smooth wood, and modernist cells straight from Ikea. Maybe. TF reports that because the case originated so long ago, and the defendants' sentences are so light to begin with (all less than a year each), they may end up never stepping foot in a cell. Sweden!

Illustration for article titled The Pirate Bays Founders Are Going to a Prison Thats Better than Your Life
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Illustration for article titled The Pirate Bays Founders Are Going to a Prison Thats Better than Your Life

But even if they did, Swedish prison looks nice. Like, nicer than my college dorm nice. Nicer than my apartment nice. The rooms have hanging lamps! The NYT reports that Sweden's so-called "open" prisons have "no fences, and room doors are locked by the prisoners themselves." And then there's this story, recounting three Israelis jailed abroad:

Three Israelis jailed in Scandinavian country turn down offer to continue serving their sentence in homeland, explain 'here we are treated with steaks, sex and private television airing World Cup games for free'

Illustration for article titled The Pirate Bays Founders Are Going to a Prison Thats Better than Your Life

So the moral here is move to Sweden, start a massively successful piracy site, and the worst case scenario is locking yourself up in a pleasure palace more chicly decorated than where you came from. [TorrentFreak]

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DISCUSSION

Swedish prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. You see, the trick is, kick someone's ass the first day or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be all right.