This is Christmas music! To be fair, this tune has to be attributed to two different parties. First you have the fictional performers "The Professor Brothers," who have also rocked such classics like this one about JFK. Second, you have Brad Neely, the real-life man behind the magic and the guy who's responsible for that George Washington rap you have to have seen at some point.

All that said, Prisoner Christmas is a wonderful—if intentionally awful—Christmas song, and song in general. As (amazingly) jarring as the vocals may be, it's got a bizarrely catchy tune, a bit of relatively clever wordplay, and a floor-humping cry-solo like none the world has ever seen. Then again, I'm something of a fan of music that's not "good" in the most traditional sense, so you might disagree. But in any case, just be glad that the only place you'll be prisoner this Christmas is in a house with your family.