The War of Guardians of the Galaxy Porn Has Been Won

Illustration for article titled The War of Guardians of the Galaxy Porn Has Been Won

The movie had only been out for three days before sherlocksmyth wrote the definitive NC-17 work, told from the perspective of Groot.

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Is it obvious? Yes. Did I know exactly what would happen once I verified that I was willing to see adult content? Yes. But I still laughed the entire time I read it.

I mean, who can't feel the passion and heat from the following excerpt?:

I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.

I am Groot?

I AM Groot.

I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.

And it doesn't even capture the majesty of the whole fanfic, which is surely the Fifty Shades of Grey of our time. Read it all. Take it in. Love it.

DISCUSSION

craigmichaelranapia
Craig Michael Ranapia

We really need Hodor/Groot slash. Now. (Please.) As long as it doesn't get into angry molesting tree territory, because I am going to judge.