These Hush Puppies Vibram Wingtip Shoes Are So Dumb They Should Be Burned

Illustration for article titled These Hush Puppies Vibram Wingtip Shoes Are So Dumb They Should Be Burned

Fact: No one has ever looked at a pair of Wingtips and thought they should be more like hideous looking Vibram FiveFingers. Fact: No one has ever wanted to wear Vibrams as dress shoes and wasn't crazy. Fact: Anything horrible should always be burned from this Earth for maximum visual and soul-fueling pleasure.


So we're burning these Hush Puppies Vibram Five Brogue5 Wingtip with a lovely fire GIF. The hope is that by adding digital flames to these shoes, people will realize that even though Vibram FiveFingers serve a purpose in reaching the idyllic barefoot nirvana whilst running, it has no place in certain parts of the world: namely, any part of the world where you can be shamed. If you're wondering how this abomination started, here's the story from Hush Puppies:

"This partnership sprang from a concept that Vibram owner Marco Bramani had been thinking about. He had personally created a one-of-a- kind Vibram shoe for himself to wear to more formal occasions. The idea seemed like a natural fit for the Hush Puppies brand, and it became an instant marriage of two brands. Marco and his team have been great to work with to deliver this exciting product to the men's market. We are coining the consumer our 'renegade' gentleman, a character that came about organically as we worked out the design and packaging, which has a rogue look and is very exciting."


Are you a renegade if you wear these Vibram WingTips? No. You're a clown. The sole, which I'm sure is plenty comfortable, was designed using the Vibram FiveFingers as an inspiration so it could fit with the foot's natural contours and offer a lot of flexibility. The upper, which looks great on its own aside from the laceless aspect, is a WingTip. They're independently fine. But the only way to combine these things together is with fire. So burn baby burn. [Press Release via Uncrate]

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Why make the soles orange? I'm all for making dress shoes more comfortable. Just make them look like normal dress shoes (brown/black soles) so I don't look like a dork in a meeting.