This Bottle Top Launcher Will Probably Injure You Some Day

Is opening a bottle like a normal person with dignity and self-respect not EXTREME enough for you? Then we’ve got a treat for you. Eventually.

Today in the liminal realm of Shit That Might Come to Kickstarter Soon is the CAPBOOM. It’s an unwieldy bottle guillotine that purports to be “the world’s first shooting bottle opener.” You know how there are bottle openers that have a magnet in them so the caps are easier to clean up? The opposite of that is the CAPBOOM.


Yes, the name is in all-caps, because A) caps lol B) I guess it’s supposed to be shouting at you C) EXTREME!!!!!

It shoots sharp pieces of metal at 60mph, probably into a loved one’s eye! It launches caps 33 feet into the air, to be lodged directly into your ceiling! And using the CAPBOOM will almost certainly result in shattering the neck of the bottle it’s affixed to, so you can taste the chunks of success as they lacerate your trachea on the way down. What tastes better than a tall frosty one with a side of emergency surgery?

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Bryan Menegus

Senior reporter. Tech + labor /// Keybase: Securedrop: http://gmg7jl25ony5g7ws.onion/

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