Wherever you are on this hellspawn sauna our planet has become today, I guarantee that you'd rather be about halfway down the world's sickest, slickest water slide, toes pointed straight at the Mediterranean. Even worse: you could be there. Right now.

The slide is accessible to anyone with a room key at CittĂ  del Mar, an Italian hotel whose rooms top out at 137 euro and whose landscape architects should have their faces etched in stone for posterity. It's located just off of Sicily, on the Gulf of Castellammare, in case your travel agent hasn't found it yet. I'll meet you there tomorrow, on the second level pool, with an iced Limoncello and a deep sense of inner peace. [CittĂ  del Mar via LeeDeeAnnax483]