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Toilet Trouble on Navy Carrier Leaves 5000 Sailors Doing the Pee Pee Dance

Illustration for article titled Toilet Trouble on Navy Carrier Leaves 5000 Sailors Doing the Pee Pee Dance

Remember when your dad would't pull the car over so you could go to the bathroom? Now imagine that your dad is the Navy and that the car is aircraft carrier George H.W. Bush (CVN-77).

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Turns out the 423 toilets on the Navy's latest ship aren't ready to report for duty.

The Navy Times reports that toilets have been malfunctioning since the ship's initial deployment. The toilet's vacuum system—which consists of 250 miles of tubing—has completely failed on several occasions leaving sailors to "anchors away" off catwalks and into bottles.

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The Navy blames the sailors for clogging the system on the $6.2billion boat with feminine hygiene products and clothing. It states that the system boats a 94-percent availability rate. that sounds good until you realize that you're probably going to be the one that has to go during the other 6-percent of the time. there are currently 25 toilet related maintenance calls a week on the sip and that's led to over 1,000 man-hours spent fixing crappers. During one outrage, technicians worked 35 hours non-stop trying to fix the problem.

It sounds hilarious, but the outages have led to a rise in urinary tract infections from sailors holding it in. Fortunately, like the awesome Americans they are, the sailors are allowing those with the highest need to visit the "poop deck" to hop to the front of a bathroom line. Non sibi sed patriae! [translation: Not self, but country] [Navy Times via Geekosystem]


You can keep up with Roberto Baldwin, on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+.

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DISCUSSION

theghostofjimmadison
The Ghost of James Madison's Rage Boner

1. It's "anchors aweigh", not "anchors away." The term means the opposite of how it's being used here, that is, that the anchor has just been tossed overboard. In fact, it means the anchor is being hauled in and has just cleared the bottom. Thus its use as a version of "farewell" or "here we go."

[www.phrases.org.uk]

2. Something like this happened while I was aboard the Enterprise years ago. We had just put in to Karachi, Pakistan after a 40+ day period at sea. They told us over and over, "Don't drink the water." Everyone drank the water because we just wanted something something besides shipboard food. The result? 6,000 guys having the squirts at the same time. The plumbing system was overwhelmed, and shit backed up all over the ship. I'll leave the smell and appearance to your imagination.