What is a “weapon?” Technically, you can inflict harm on another person with just about anything, be it a projectile, blade, stone, or even just your own human hand. So where do you draw the line?
The TSA’s verdict: Fidget spinners are toys and ninja stars are weapons. Ninja star fidget spinner? Weapon.
The (actually sort of funny) TSA Instagram has a history of posting some of the silliest things the agency has found in people’s carry-ons, including plenty of throwing stars and inactive grenades. Always hip to the latest trends, the account has now targeted my favorite penis percher, the fidget spinner. Which are totally “over” as of an hour or two ago, according to FiveThirtyEight, by the way.
The Transportation Security Administration has made sure to remind us that normal #FidgetSpinners are allowed, but “Satan’s fidget spinner” is not. I can only imagine how the argument with the (presumably preteen) passenger caught carrying this contraband probably went.
Who would even buy this? If you’ve ever fidget-spun, you know that knocking the spinner’s sides on the crook between your thumb and your index finger is a rite of passage. That makes this whirling shuriken a band-aid and a boo-boo kiss from mom waiting to happen.
As for this spinner belonging to “Satan,” the folks tasked with protecting our country from terrorists have only demonstrated how not with it they really are. Because, of course, all fidget spinners are Satanic tools designed to lead children away from God and his son Jesus Christ.