Uniqlo to Set Up Human Vending Machines, Ruin Shopping Forever

Illustration for article titled Uniqlo to Set Up Human Vending Machines, Ruin Shopping Forever

Are you looking to buy clothes in the most awkward way possible? Well, Japanese clothing retailer Uniqlo is bringing that opportunity to holiday shoppers in New York's Times Square by setting up human vending machines. Yes, they're vending machines with mimes inside, with human assistants in metallic bodysuits there to help you. Yikes. The whole thing is to promote their new Heat Tech innerwear line.

Basically we’re going to have two mimes. A male and a female mime inside the machine. And the public can see them through glass. When you get there, we’re going to have Uniqlo reps dressed in the silver bodysuits. And they’re going to hold a thermograph scanner — think of an airport security machine. The thermographer identifies cold spots in your body. After you go through that, you go to the vending machine and push a button and the mimes are going to do a synchronized choreographed routine and then your outfit comes out.


No thank you. Just look at the picture! It'll be like shopping on the set of a crappy, low-budget sci-fi movie. [PSFK]



New Yorkers won't care because real New Yorkers never go to Times Square.