Perhaps it’s because of the desire to keep flashlights out of the eyes of innocent moviegoers, perhaps it’s because of the Guillermo Del Toro-ian fear the look inspires, or perhaps it’s because they just like sweet gadgets, Malaysian ushers are beginning to use night-vision goggles to spot pirates.
The goggles, a present from the Motion Picture Association of America, have already proved their usefulness in 17 cases in the past two months, a time when studios were releasing Spider Man 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean: When Will This Series End?. Another ploy by the MPAA was to import a pair of DVD-sniffing dogs. Responsible for turning up more than half a million bootleg movies, the dogs are now rumored to have a price on their heads, courtesy of said Malaysian pirates.
According to blueprints from the Acme Company, the MPAA will next attempt to mount a large red rocket and light its fuse while aiming it at the place where the Malaysian movie pirates are eating strategically placed birdseed.
