Still pumping your watermelons full of vodka? What is this, summer camp? You're in the real world now, it's time for an adult solution to your fruit-based adult beverage storage needs. Maybe one that even involves a spigot.
The instructions for the Watermelon Keg come from none other than the National Watermelon Promotion Board—which is an actual thing, apparently. Essentially you slice off a thin layer from the bottom end, slice open the top, scoop out the meat (or liquefy with booze), and jam a spigot in the front.
What would be really awesome is if you got a bunch of those cube melons they sell in Japan, stack them vertically and run tubing from the top melon to the bottom one (which would hold the spigot). Put a couple of umbrellas in that bad boy and you are set for the luau. [Watermelon.org via Neatorama]