What happens when superheroes retire? Italian cartoonist Donald Soffritti knows best, because he draws them—in humorous, imaginative, and fantasy-wrecking detail—at their worst. For example, Wonder Woman has traded in her Amazonian hotness and superpowers for a cigarette, a chihuahua, and a lot of extra layers of fat. Sad. Keep reading to find out what happens to Superman and Spider-Man.
Superman’s fate is not that different from Wonder Woman’s. In addition to being an overweight smoker, though, he also doesn’t leave home without his tequila shot.
Spider-Man doesn’t gain much weight. Instead, he loses a lot of muscle mass, loses control of his bladder, and becomes one of those obnoxious perpetual hospital patients that walks around screwing up his IV. Images by Donald Soffritti
