Your Best Star Wars Luke Skywalker Theories

Illustration for article titled Your Best Star Wars Luke Skywalker Theories

We gave you what we thought were pretty good guesses as to what twist J.J. Abrams has in store for Luke Skywalker. But some of you exceeded even our imagination.


angusm brought us all down with this impeccably-reasoned, but very depressing, future for Luke:

The explanation is both sad and touching, actually. And a little macabre.

When Chewbacca died of old age, Han was inconsolable. Seeing his friend grieving, Luke secretly recovered the body, skinned and cured it, and started impersonating the dead Wookie. Han, whose eyesight isn’t as good as it once was, was completely taken in. Luke had only intended to give his friend a chance to say a last goodbye to “Chewie”, but Han, having lost his companion once, refuses to let the Wookie out of his sight. Now Luke has to follow Han around the galaxy, acting the part of the smuggler’s dead co-pilot.

So Luke is actually right there in the poster, but disguised.

Topher has it out for Luke:

It’s too spoilery, but here it is for the first time - Cold Open, pan down to the surface of a planet. We see Luke walking down a street, then BAM! He is shot by a blaster held by BB-8. Repeatedly. The opening credits then roll but instead of the normal credit fanfare, the text scrolls over the sound of BB-8 shooting Luke with its blaster over and over again.

Alternate theory - When Han lands the Falcon in this scene, he accidentally gives Luke the old “Wicked Witch” treatment, then steals his sparkly Jedi shoes.

♫UkuleleDan♫ posited that technical difficulties explain it all:

Actually, like the shark in Jaws, his machinery broke so they’re only going to be able to show him at the very end.

Keep the guessing going, everyone. The Force is strong in you.

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My serious and sincere theory about Luke: He’s in hiding. I heard that the logline for the film was actually “30 years after Jedi, Luke Skywalker is missing, and new heroes have to find him.” So they’re looking for Luke.

Now there are those two already iconic shots in a snowy forest: Kylo Ren stalking someone and igniting his crossguard saber. And Finn igniting Anakin/Luke’s blue lightsaber. The look on Finn’s face is nervous determination. I suspect he and the others are being chased by Kylo Ren, and Finn decides to pull a heroic sacrifice and stall Ren for as long as possible to buy the others time. He doesn’t have lightsaber training, so I predict Kylo Ren will easily start wrecking him.

Then all of a sudden a snap-hiss will cut through the din and a green glow will come onto screen. It’ll be Luke, bearded, robed, and badass, and he’ll drive Kylo Ren away. And he’ll turn to Finn and say some update or variation on “I’m Luke Skywalker, I’m here to rescue you.”

And audiences will lose their ****ing minds.