The highly reliable New York Post reports that XM Satellite Radio will merge with Sirius Satellite Radio as early as today. This makes the 287th time that we've heard such a rumor. According to the Post's super secret sources, the two companies held a slumber party all weekend long trying to come up with a deal that was suitable to both parties. The same sources suggest that the Sirius will be the Man in the relationship, with XM playing second fiddle to the little doggy company. Chalk this up to its "higher enterprise value." I guess now we can look forward to Sirius' Howard Stern (who invented everything, remember) fighting XM's Opie & Anthony on-air. That is, if the feckless Stern doesn't take the rest of the year living it up in the Hamptons.