iPhone Site Publishes Fourth Consecutive Irrelevant Post as World Keeps Ignoring It

Dear friends,

In light of recent rumors and tabloid non-news, I feel compelled to clarify some aspects of what we, my shiny friend and I, are doing in London now. I can confirm that, after a short vacation in Kauai, we took off to England in my Gulfstream V.

However, this time it wasn't to announce that we were going to set the music and some killer whales free with EMI. It wasn't to meet up with Vodafone executives to discuss any details of <a href="http://www.tuaw.com/2007/04/30/rumors-euro-iphone-to-be-3g/

">any iPhone distribution deal either. Or to have tea with Madonna. In fact, if you want to know why we came here and the rest of the story you'll have to read it in page 2, after the jump.

We came to... urm... to... to have dinner with Ringo! Yes. That's it. Ringo. Ringo wanted to meet my sleek pal here and the three of us had a delicious dinner. I had vegan roastbeef, which is just the spuds and the Yorkshire Pudding. Without the eggs. Anyway, what a great old chap, that Ringo. We all sang "With A Little Help From My Friends" and "Octopus' Garden" at the end. 43 times in a row. A complete blast I tell you.

But I digress. What I wanted to tell you is that those rumor people are even more clueless than AT&T/Cingular representatives who according to Wired, still don't have any idea about when the iPhone is arriving to their stores. Second week of June? First of July? One sunny summer day? I am not surprised, really. Have you seen that memo? No? Me neither. Let me see my gleaming mate's mail here. Just a moment... oh here, here it is:

From: Phil
To: Steve
Cc: Fredo
Subject: Re: AT&T Launch dates

Steve,

Nope, no frikkin' idea, old buddy. Can't find the damn memo. Have you asked Fred? Maybe he took it with him.

Have fun in London.

Cheerio,

Phil

So there you go. Nobody knows about it. Just like nobody knows if the iPhone will be available unlocked, nor for $899 neither $999 or a bloody million english pounds. One hint: If our engineers worked their asses off to pull out the AT&T integration and create a unique user experience with special services, how is the iPhone going to work with any other provider again? I rest my case.

As for the display to showcase my friend clones coming soon to AT&T stores, the jury is still out on that one. We will have to wait and see, unlike with the iPhone on "Heroes" rumor. People, I don't know how many times I have to tell you this but let me try it again: NO iPHONE LEAVES THE HANDS OF APPLE EMPLOYEES OR MYSELF AT ANY TIME. So yes, that was not an iPhone, but a Prada phone. Go and ask Laura Ocaña if you don't believe me.

That's all for now. Time to get back home.

Love,

Steve

PS. As you can see, everything is still in the air, but you can be sure the iPhone will play MPEG4 H.264 video. That's why Roxio is trying to bank on the buzz by announcing a $50 product called Crunch. It will convert any video to Apple TV, iPod and the iPhone, they say. Gotta love those Roxio rascals. I bet they know Ringo too.