Gizmodo
What do you mean that today's already the 14th? Oh crap! Can you rush out during lunch hour and buy something? Yes, but what? Flowers and an erotic cake might be barely passable, and that's what you did last year, so you need to step it up. Go with a slightly more expensive gift. Still stumped? Good thing we've got a list of extremely last minute gadget gift ideas that may be for her, but are secretly for you. It's a win/win.
Boobies Mouse Pad
What you tell her: It's for you baby, to protect your wrists because of all that computer work you do.
Why it's for you: I love seeing you fondle another woman's boobs, even if it's a fake, rubberized woman.
The iPhone
What you tell her: I've seen you eyeing this phone for a while, and now you can finally use it! Just think, you don't have to carry around an iPod and your phone all the time! And we can text message each other so much!
Why it's for you: Give it a month for the newness to wear off and swap out her iPhone with some cheap phone. She won't care.
Why it's really for me: Because you can buy my iPhone book as well.
An electronic nail dryer
What you tell her: You always keep saying how your nails are awful, right? This will help you save money by not having to go out to have your nails done!
Why it's for you: It helps keep her occupied for an hour so you can finally get some gaming done.
The Evian Water Bra
What you tell her: You have to stay hydrated, right? Just drink directly from the bra. Plus, the water inside can help cool your breasts, which—as Travis Hudson of Gizmodo says—prevents "sweaty breastitis."
Why it's for you: Nobody likes a case of sweaty breastitis, except maybe Travis.
Electric Ice Cream Maker
What you tell her: You love ice cream, I love ice cream, who doesn't like ice cream?
Why it's for you: I plan on impregnating you one day, better keep your body osteoporosis-free.
Why it's actually really for her after all: Impregnation is never a man's idea!
An Xbox 360
What you tell her: Because the...uhhh...ummm...uhhh...the HD DVD...errmm...DVD...ahhh...wireless controllers are neater...mmmm...I love you?
Why it's for you: This should be obvious.
A giant HDTV
What you tell her: You've always wanted a giant HDTV!
Why it's for you: She's never wanted a giant HDTV.
The FyreTV, a streaming on-demand porn for the living room box
What you tell her: Come on! When haven't you wanted to watch porn in the living room?!
Why it's for you: When haven't you wanted to watch porn in the living room?
A Nintendo Wii Fit Preorder
What you tell her: It's for you to exercise! Stay healthy so we can grow old together!
Why it's for you: You're fat.
Got enough tips? Now get shopping! [Cupid outfit courtesy Buy Costumes]
Comments
This topic has so much win in it.
And other reasons for the woman to kill me...
Win/Win... ?
I know it's kind of b.low-tech, but what about tightly woven silk cord with a string of real pearls she doesn't wear around her neck.
Just a thought.
I quick death awaits all who gives these.
There were Wii FIT boxes in chinatown this weekend. Wonder if they were really Vii FYT boxes.
@MagnoliaBoy: Nah, the woman would love an XBOX 360 or a new large TV upon which to play her games...
most of those will place you on the couch in no time I would like to read the stories of those that have tried these suggestions.
What would be the line you'd give to your girlfriend to get her to wear the cupid outfit?
Damn it, Giz. I was about to go buy a new HDTV, Xbox 360, and iPhone for her, but she reads this site and will totally know what I am up to now. I guess I will just have to buy her a box of chocolates. Thanks a lot, guys.
I woudl be thrilled to get an IPhone, but pity the person who tried to take it back after a month.
I think my girl would love the Big Screen TV!
It's funny you say "Last Minute", because most of these can only be ordered online. o_o
abt the electronic nail dryer...don't you actually have more time if she gets out and get her nails done?
Ha. I would absolutely LOVE it if a guy gave me a big HDTV or an xbox 360. That's like the best gift I could think of! What sane woman wouldn't want one? Or even better, BOTH?!
@Xavoc: Your woman maybe. Mine's pretty dull.
These comments, although fun, are a little too assuming about women. I personally hate doing my nails, but I'd love an XBox 360, and I would definitely notice if somebody stole my iPhone. The water bra however seems like it's practical but I bet it's terribly uncomfortable.
Nice write-up, even if it's just for laughs. :)
i'd take the iphone!
somebody please love me!
Fyre TV - still not available. And I'm in the beta....
@ANoel: Classy AND pervy. Well done.
@Jesminya:
I wouldn't imagine the water bra being any more or less uncomfortable than a wonderbra (or any other push-up bra for that matter). If it's uncomfortable, you're probably wearing the wrong size. Which apparently is a common problem according to a friend of mine that works at Victoria's Secret.
It actually was my girlfriend who wanted a 'giant HDTV'. Well, we didn't actually get a giant one, just 37", but I was planning on something smaller, and she said "No way! we're getting a big TV!"
42" might have been ok, but anything larger would have caused placement problems in our living room.
We already have an icecream machine (the exact model pictured) and iPhones.
I would never buy my g/f an xbox 360! I got her a PS3 instead. She digs that and the Wii. But since she saw how upsetting it was with 3 RRoD 360s I went through...why punish herself too.
wow, no nike + ipod or kitchen gadgets? those are 'win/win'...
i'd almost be tempted to get her the boobies mouse pad, cause then she'd have to punish me...
If I bought my significant other an XBox, she'd be thrilled by how much money she can get when she sells it.
What about socks? Damn, that reminds me. That's what I really need to go get my wife.
You don't have spend big to please the woman. You need to know what will really make her happy. With my wife, long warm soft socks are it or maybe an electric blanket.
A dinner at any food place will thrill her as long as she don't have to cook.
I bought my wife an iPhone so that way I can hack the hell out of mine and leave hers in synch with all the latest updates from Apple. I'm sure she'll bore of it eventually. At which time I'll have TWO!!! BBBUUUAAAHHHHAAAAHHHHAAAA!
@apeguero: i wanted to get my wife an iPhone for precisely the same reasons you stated. but, she said, it's too fancy for me, get me a blackberry. :(
That mouse pad come in a Pam Anderson version? I really need to protect my wrists.
Eh.... hello.... blu tooth vibrator..... did youi guys forget something?
hahahaha awesome!!
maybe i could add a Nintendo DS.. you know with Brain Age, so she trains like Nicole Kiddman.. and then she get bored and you take it to play awesome games!!
Just dont buy a pink version...
@mowglicub:
what about a trance vibrator for REZ , so you buy her some xbox 360 extra controllers .. hehehe
I think the costume in the pic should have made this list.
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