Gizmodo
The product is called the Oral Sex Light. We're not too sure much of an explanation is needed, but if you still don't get it, there's a completely NSFW explanation image after the jump.
For all those who were gagging to see a giant illuminated phallus, I apologise; it was a very mean trick. Graphic image aside, the Oral Sex Light will set you back $13.99, and mounts (ha) via a clip-on ear piece. The torch attached is completely flexible, meaning you can totally scope out those hard to find regions. Unfortunately, if you ever did try to wow a date with your I-come-prepared attitude, she'll likely be out of the door quicker than she could say, "What the hell was I doing there in the first place?" At that point, you'll have to make use of the Oral Sex Light on your own, which will be an even sadder and more twisted state of affairs than normal. You suck. [Nerd Approved]
Comments
excellent for those deep cavernous expeditions.
so when can we expect to see a product review?
If you need a light, you're doing it wrong.
"This is Locutus of Borg, requesting permission to 69 with Seven of Nine."
after the jump?
yea umm theres no dirty image
@Simpsons-Movie-ruled: Oh my bad I didnt finish reading it(could we have an edit button soon?)
thats such a gross / creepy product. Whats wrong with the amount ambient light in a room?
I would buy one, but then what would I do with my bluetooth headset?
I guess we'll have to change the expression to, "It's like throwing a hotdog down a dark hallway" just so we can use this thing.
I dont think we should expect product reviews from Giz. Atleast not until they actually get some...
Heh, I'm sure it has SFW uses too. c,c
@Chameleon8474: lol. From the Giz review: "My sex doll said I performed 10 times better!"
you need help if you find this product useful :P
why did it took so long for em to make that?
@t3mur: took the designers this long to get some to figure out they need a light.
don't dingle my dongle
@stevegoz: Well you do have 2 ears... I can hear it now... someone giving a blowjob with their bluetooth in and accidentally calling their mom... lmao
At least you could leave it out on the nightstand as a booklight.
Reminds me of the Rectal Spelunking article that was recently posted and then erased on Giz, which unfortunately, I can't prove ever existed. It was rather runny, though.
This exact same thing was on the "Tonight Show" on Valentines.
Pretty funny stuff.
@forcetrainer: OH boy,
You just gave me one of those, "Damn, I wish I'd said that!",-----------moments.
Good stuff, Maynerd!
Speaking of deleting articles, what happened to the Akira motorcycle article?
Looks like it'd be good for eating in the dark, too. Eating food, I mean! Food!
I thought that was what candles are for.
Well. Not that close, of course. Otherwise you might burn off your naughty bits. Or hers, as the case would be.
I could only see using this as a gag joke.
You know, with the friends and telling them "I had to use this to find my way out."
Other then that I'm pretty sure her parts will be in the normal spots.
Man, is that a deal! Not only will it completely get rid of the chick you were going to use this with but it also comes with batteries!
and the best part "free batteries included" I mean... that's just a great dealzmodo... lol
I didn't get it at first, but after i followed the link i found that it works with the "oral sex snorkel", now it makes sense. :P
now if you had some night vision goggles you would look like Sam from splinter cell! lol
Although I would turn off the light
Don't know how I would fit that around the helmet and ear protection.
i guess i'm the only one who found the pun "you suck" at the end funny.
xD
u need a light if ur looking to pleasure the ovaries!!...
Meh, without a laser pointer, it's useless.
Flashlight, hell.
Help me find my truck and we'll DRIVE out!
(sorry old joke)
From a woman's point of view maybe check out his dongle for cleanliness???? And maybe men need it as their dongle's are so small????
WTF? No pun intended.
Mossberg won't know what the fuck to do with this thing.
@Simpsons-Movie-ruled: I feel deceived as well:-(
Anyway, I think this rather helps with cellular-style filming than with finding anything. And if you wanted to sneak some photos to upload on www.neighborhood-slut.com you'd probably make it too obvious to work out. Also, there are cellies out there with LEDs, so that would also be taken care of.
And the item in question isn't hard to find for women, even if it's the size of a McDo-french fry (didn't have the heart to say frenchie...) and as a man you have to get too close for a light to be useful anyway, unless you are prepared to do some serious squinting.
hey, wait, 'www.neighborhood-slut.com' has still nothing on it. I can hear a business opportunity knocking... And it's even unregistered in netsol, as .com and .net! Oh, well...
www.pussysnorkel.com/fact.htm
The gift that begs you to keep on giving?
Now I know what to get my parents for Christmas next year. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that the chick on the package is wearing underwear.
@workingonyourinvoice: Not true young grasshoppa, I like to see my food. After all, who eats in the dark?
Great gift for the next Christmas gift exchange at the office. Thanks Gizmodo! You'll be seeing me in the unemployment line...
@ MACMOVIEMAN: I thought herpes was the gift that keeps on giving.
"dont go down without it". nice.
does it come with a pocket reference guide to the pussy and the penis?
@PARADISE, I was drinking coffee when I read your post, I almost snorted it outa my nose! Thanks for the laugh.
talk about ruining the mood.
@Kendra: ROTFLMMFAO!
@GamestopPatron: XTREME FISHEYE AND FISHSMELL!!!
I like how they that "4-U-BOTH" thing... like everyone likes a hot led sticked to your balls...
Is funny cause you make penis sound like Bluetooth USB device yes?
this things really exsist?
gosh
What am I going to do with my Miners Helmet now? Hmmmm....
This is a wuss light. I currently have an array of six "30 million candlight" spotlights mounted around my head so I can insure any and all curlies are shaved lest they become caught in my teeth.
Best post title ever!
Last I checked we had made it out of the 1950s and it was fully acceptable to have sex with the room lights on.
Edison, oh Edisoooon....
i want a oral sex microscope, anyone has it?
Doesn't seem stable enough. If you really need light down there, I suggest one of those coal miner helmits.
what was that...?..
no i definitely just saw some kind of little gnome..
omg is that why you turn the lights off everytime?..
Specially engineered for meat spelunking!
Am i the only one that thinks this could be much more handy for things like painting Warhammer figures that sex? I mean seriously.. the room lights are more than enough for the later .p