Gizmodo
Inspired by our own Addy's post on a man and his "love" of robots, the guy at SlashDong decided to take a Fleshlight and make it into an input device for his computer. The whole setup costs about $100ish, and consists of a cap replacement for the Fleshlight, a control box, a rubber tube, and a USB cable. Oh, and an actual sex game to use it with. You didn't think you could use this to Photoshop, did you?
The end result, after programming the computer to think that this makeshift device is a mouse, is that you can use your wang to simulate having sex with a woman on screen. Of course, it's an incredibly ugly woman with 1995-era graphics, but it corresponds to your penile motions. Is this a revolution in sexual computing? Are we going to see more of these devices in the future? We think yes. [Slashdong (NSFW) via Fleshbot (NSFW)]
Comments
"Of course, it's an incredibly ugly woman" Wow, they've manage to simulate my real life sex! Where are my royalties?
OK. Show's over. Everyone go home. This post has checkmated humanity.
Will there be a multiplayer mode?
wow
Wow... Talk about incentive to keep playing and do well. And I usually just play games for the mere fact that I do better than I did the last time or to beat a level or the game.
Well, they are trying to encourage people to get more exercise instead of just sitting and playing games all day. At least this way, you can get somewhat of a workout.
I wonder if they let you pause if you...need a break for about 30-45 minutes. ;-]
hhahahahha... my god... haaha.... HAHAHAHA...
the world sadens me...
@BigDanInTX:
yeah... a good old twinkie break...
@Darrone:
"they've manage to simulate my real life sex!"
Nah, I'm sure this is good for at LEAST 2, 3 minutes tops.
i keed!
What a sexist device!! someone sue quick!!
I guess its kinda like rockband
Women have been masturbating digitally for ages.
Finally, Men get some equality!
@LittlestLamshi: I was implying a 30-45 minute break between sessions... =-P
@BigDanInTX:
oh... makes sense...
@kezratt1:
It actually doesn't say if this thing sucks when you play with it, so I wouldn't make that assertion just yet.
Another reason to worry about little Timmy locking himself away in his room to play video games....
Penis Chamber: Check
110 volt Socket? Check
Wires leading indirectly from 110 volt socket to Penis Chamber? Check.
What could possibly go wrong?
Murphy's gonna getcha!
@nutbastard: You're just jealous because our toys are WAY better than yours.
I dont care what any of you think, being a woman ROCKS!
Ah...instead of Bawls, Rockstar, or Red Bull, you'd be popping a Viagra to help out your gameplay. ;-]
@Curves:
It must - I sure do wish I were talented at driving the people around me completely insane, and really enjoyed doing it. You're right - that WOULD rock!
People buy fleshlights? Can they just not do the jobs themselves??? The whole process of the J.O. seems so basic that it baffles me that there are people out there that can't wrap their minds around it. Or in this case their hands.
Wow
@nutbastard: LMAO, no doubt... You forgot the lubricating (to be read "electrically conductive") fluid. ;-]
They're taking "wiimote" to a whole new level...
Does it support Force Feedback?
@Curves: Yeah, your on- and off-board equipment is superior in many ways. We just don't have the monthly fluctuations and we can urinate wherever. I still think your equipment's better though. ;-]
Does this make it easier to get/give your computer a virus?
imagine...you've got mail
Up the graphics a bit (OK, a lot), put a female version of this on the other end of a 'net connection and you could take internet sex to the next level. You'd never have to wake up the next morning and realize that, yes, you were drunk and, no he/she isn't good looking. @Curves -- notice how I wasn't sexist with the last line? Want to get together later? My server or yours? :)
does it blend
maybe just the contents ...
@thechansen:
People buy Calculators? Can they not just do the math themselves???
Does it seem like life is full of stressful obligations that leave you no time for yourself? Are the business meetings, bills and long commutes, not to mention a frigid wife, leave you feeling frustrated? Is finding just 10 minutes of alone time a virtual impossibility?
Well Fear Not:
Introducing the Fleshlight - For Pope Pumpers on the go.
Utilizing the latest jackological technology, The Fleshlight is the only portable pocket pussy you need procure! Forget getting her drunk! Get YOU drunk. With The Fleshlight, you WILL get off, regardless of such conditions as whiskey-dick, half-staff, and shy turtle.
The Fleshlight - Order yours today!
Now you can beat more than your high score. Can you say "first person shooter?"
is that the dell laptop with the pubes in the pic - it suddenly all makes sense.
@nutbastard: What are you..?
Oh. I see what you did there.
HEHE THE MULTIPLAYER WILL BE WICKED!
Oh hell. I almost laughed out loud during my meeting when I saw the headline feed from my phone.
@Curves: If I weren't a man, I'd want to be a woman.
Oh my. All the Doctor Strangelove references in the world won't help me now...
@BigDanInTX: Reminds me of an old joke (if this doesnt get me banned, nothing will)...
Adam and Ever were sitting around the Garden of Eden and God came over holding a bag and said, "OK I have a couple of features left over from building you guys, who wants what? I have the ability to Pee While Standing" and immediately Adam pops up and says "ME ME ME, I WANT THAT", so God gives it to him and off Adam goes peeing on trees, etc.... Next God says "Ok Eve, I only have one thing left over, its something called Multiple Orgasms."
Morale of this story: Pee on all the damn trees you want. :)
ALL I WANT THIS THING TO DO:
When i thrust, I want the "knife" button in COD4 activated!
"Sniping, camping piece of shit!"
-sneak sneak sneak-
"Take.... THAT!"
@nutbastard:
Listen, idle hands are the devil's tools. If you are going to jerk it, it might as well be with your own Rosy Palmer.
Plus there is no evidence, other than a kleenex or a gym sock. With a fleshlight, you never know who will find it. Then again, if you own a flesh light I doubt to many people will be hanging out with you, let alone accidently finding it.
Now we know why HAL really went mad in 2001: A Space Odyssey. How'e you like to be an aware computer and get f**ked all day, without even a kiss or kind word?
@Curves:
As a man who's capable of multiple orgasms, I - uh - ugh - ahhhhhh! ugh - uhhh - eeeh - aahhhh!
wait, what were we talking about?
@Curves: And who says guys can't have Multi's? =-P
Been there...done that. ;-]
@nutbastard: I play COD4 too...would be fun if you could trigger the crouch command w/ every thrust. Teabag, Teabag, Teabag (oh yeah...) TEABAG!. (lmao)
@EBone: This is less of a WiiMote and more of a WangMote really.
Probably not appropriate to have profanity in massive text on the front page there Giz. Some of us read this site at work and it's supposed to be SFW :)
@jgrnt1:
"C'mon hal... How 'bout a blowjob?"
"I'm sorry, Dave. I can't do that"
"OH come ON, you're not even really Catholic!"
@lindec:
"Some of us read this site at work and it's supposed to be SFW"
sez who?
@Curves: OK, my try at the other side of an Adam and Eve joke: Got tells Adam he will make a mate for him. She will be called woman and will do all his bidding. She will be submissive, silent unless spoken to, walk three paces behind, always be complimentary, especially during sex....the list goes on and on. Adam asks God, "What will it cost me?," to which God replies, "An arm and a leg." Adam thinks for a minute and asks, "What can a get for a couple of ribs?" The rest is history.