I'm pretty sure when I was young, kids this dumb were sent out into the wild and only allowed back into society after they'd done battle with rabid wolves and survived, to ensure accordance with Darwin's law. Anyways, look kid, the crappy, Chinese-made stuffed toys inside, they're not actually worth it—not the quarter you conned out of your parents to play, and not the years of therapy you're going to have undergo to get over this. If it had been one of the ones where you can win like a Wii, okay, 'cause they can still be kind of hard to come by. But it totally wasn't. [YouTube via Geekologie]

Send an email to matt buchanan, the author of this post, at matt@gizmodo.com.