We know that today's iPhone coverage has driven most of you to the brink of insanity (OK, let's be honest, that was actually the booze and black magic markers kicking in, but our iPhone coverage isn't helping matters), but if there's one thing that will shut up an Apple fanboy, it's this Hellboy 2 Big Baby life-size replica. A shotgun combined with a six-shooter, it features six removable shells and a wind-up music player (featuring Lullaby and Goodnight). And at 42 pounds, it's not fucking around. But the best part is that you can call your Apple-fanboy buddy and tell him that you just dropped $699 on something without a touchscreen or iTunes support. [bigbadtoystore via nerd approved]

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