Nothing Says Romance Like Glowing, Flashing, Musical Condoms

Ever wondered what a clown wears on his penis when he wants to practice safe sex with the bearded lady? A Wacky Rubber, that's what.

Yes, Wacky Rubbers! Nothing instills confidence in the ability of a condom to prevent pregnancy and STDs like having a face painted on it and lights built into it.

Not only that, but these things are shaped as well. Ears, hats, stars — each of them has a definitely non-penile shape to it that makes very little sense to me. I'm not sure if it'd be better or worse if they accurately retained their shape while in use. Probably worse.

Overall, these things look like craft projects from a 2nd grade class taught by Dr. Ruth. They're pretty fun, but I can't imagine they've ever been uses as intended. Yet. Just wait 'til my order of bull-shaped condoms that play Camptown Races and light up arrive. [Wacky Rubbers via The Daily What]