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Whoever Writes Comcast’s Movie Descriptions Is a Genius

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This astute synopsis of Lindsay Lohan’s ultra-meta pièce de résistance isn’t a fluke—no, over at Comcast, movie summarization has been elevated to an artform. That, or their whole staff has a raging pill habit. Either way!

WTF Comcast started collecting Comcast’s best synopsis work about a week ago, and they’ve already unearthed a treasure trove of top-rate film criticism, thinly disguised as Tweet-length cable box blurbery. My favorites:

As a Time Warner customer, I have to say I feel cheated. Comcast, or whatever subcontractor they’re buying this stuff from: Give this (wo?)man a raise. [WTF Comcast]

UPDATE: Deadspin sheds some light on the source of Comcast’s listings.

https://deadspin.com/deep-inside-the-comcast-tv-guide-sports-listing-conspir-5422654

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