These Official Razor Scooters Shoot Sparks and Make Marks

Ah, the Razor scooter! You were once accessory du jour. Everyone had one, well, until everyone grew up and realized it was sort of silly to scoot around like a tween. So how do you stay relevant? By attaching chalk to the back of a scooter and adding a "spark bar" that shoots out a trail of sparks? Uhh...

That's exactly what Razor did. The Graffiti scooter comes loaded with three street chalks that marks up the street as you scoot on by. Is there any possible explanation for this? Do they want perverted creeps to follow the rainbow road to pedophilia? Is it getting kids in touch with their inner vandal? Ridiculous!

The eSpark electric Razor scooter is slightly better because I can kind of see the point of adding sparks. When I was a kid I wanted to pretend I was going so fast that sparks would fly off the back of my skateboard or roller blades or whatever. Kids probably want that too. But still, can't you already see this ending badly? Plus, it can only last 40 minutes on an 8-hour charge and has a weight limit of 120 pounds.

Parents, do good by your kid and get 'em something other than these Razor scooters please. [Graffiti Razor, eSpark Razor via OhGizmo]