You may not have realized it, but today is the first inaugural National Jerky Day. And sure, it might be nothing more than a publicity stunt cooked up by Jack Links to sell more product, but we're ok with that. Because dammit, beef jerky deserves more recognition.
So here's everything you'll to need to celebrate the very first National Jerky Day. And remember, one day you'll be celebrating this holiday with your grandkids, so make you do something today that's worth telling them about.
First and foremost you need to get yourself some jerky. And while Jack Links' offerings might be the easiest to find, that's probably not how you roll. You need something unique, something that will make you stand out from the crowd. Something like this Zombie Jerky that looks like you're eating rotting human flesh.
In reality it's nothing more than teriyaki beef jerky with a healthy dose of food coloring, but it's the closest you're going to get to sampling humans without making the evening news. $6
Don't forget about your feline or canine companions today. Most of the year they probably survive on dry pet food that you wouldn't touch with a ten foot strip of jerky. So why not make this newfound holiday extra special for them by serving them a little shriveled up meat?
In a few hours this countertop dryer can produce everything from dog biscuits, to dried fruit, to dehydrated beef—the way it was meant to be eaten. It's also cheaper than buying similar treats at the pet store, and in reality your dog will probably be happy to gnaw on anything that's had all the moisture sucked out of it. $30
They're made by combining actual ground beef and potatoes that's then dried into these thin chips. Since they're not fried the Cherkees are actually a healther alternative to traditional crisps. And since they're basically potato chips with meat added, what more reason could you possibly need to devour them? $10
The beauty of beef jerky is that you don't necessarily have to buy it at the store. If you categorize yourself about one step above lazy, it's actually pretty easy to make. The first, and most enjoyable, step is to tenderize and flatten out your meat. And this brass knuckles-like pounder looks like a great way to relieve some stress at the same time.
Just imagine your boss's or co-worker's face smugly smiling up from the kitchen counter at you. That's probably all the inspiration you'll need to get a cut of beef flatter than a piece of butcher's paper. $13
It looks like it's ready to caulk your windows to brace your home against winter's icy blast. But this giant syringe gun is designed for one thing only—making jerky.
It makes it extra easy to churn out those long strips of pulverized meat before they head off to the dehydrator. And this model can squeeze out up to a pound and a half of cow carcass in one pass. It's probably not the most pleasant thing to see in action, but it's worth it as long as you keep your eyes on the final prize. $45
If you have any doubts that this is one bad-ass commercial dehydrator, just consider it's been named the Excalibur. That's right, the sword that King Arthur used to slay his enemies and rule England. You can't just name any old contraption the Excalibur, it has to earn the title, and with enough capacity to hold 42 trays of food, this dehydrator certainly has.
But with a price tag that's comparable to a small car, you better plan on turning a profit with your dehydrated treats, otherwise the savings of making your own jerky just aren't going to add up. $16,000
You probably deck yourself out in green for St. Patrick's Day, red, white, and blue for the Fourth of July, and green and red for Christmas. So why should National Jerky Day be any different? But instead of choosing a flashy colored t-shirt, you should make yourself a pair of these stylish beef jerky briefs.
The best part is the use of Slim Jims as both functional and stylish stitching, but the fact that you can make these yourself and finally free yourself from those oppressive Fruit of the Looms could be even better. DIY