Who the Hell Cares About Ads In the New Kindle Fire?

Some people are whining that the new Kindle Fires shows Amazon's "special offers" when locked. They're upset because "I can't put my own pretty background!" Or "I can't put the face of my cat!" Or "I can't cycle through those photos of the Grand Canyon that I took on two years ago when I thought was Ansel Adams."

Christ. Stop saying words.

Let's put things in perspective here:

First, you can buy the regular 7-inch Kindle Fire for a ridiculous $160—a full forty bucks cheaper than the Nexus 7. Or you can get the new 7-inch HD model for a stupid $200. If you want an alternative to the 9.7-inch iPad, the 16GB 8.9-inch Kindle HD only costs $300 compared to its $500 Apple equivalent. The lock-screen ads are worth the savings.

But those aren't even the best deal Amazon offered up. The Kindle Fire HD with LTE is just $500, with a 250MB-per-month limited data plan for 50 bucks a year. The comparable iPad 32GB with LTE is $730, with a $180 a year data plan that has the same 250MB monthly cap. Oh, and Amazon's plan includes 20GB of free cloud storage, and accessing it doesn't count against your cap. That's an amazing price difference. Well worth the lock-screen ads.

You can't opt-out of these lock-screen special offers, but who the hell cares. Who spends time looking at the lock screen? When my iPad is locked, the screen is off. This is not e-ink. The Fire's screen turns off too.

Do you want to put some ads on my lock screen, Jeff Bezos? Do it. Put whatever you want. Put an image of your dog. Put a photo of yourself in your underpants, if you have to. Put two girls and one cup framed in goatse. I don't give a damn. I won't look at it anyway. Just give me that sweet $4/month data plan and that nice $230-cheaper-than-the-iPad tablet of yours.