Good people of Missouri, former Navy SEAL (and former Democrat) Eric Greitens would like to be your next Governor. Now please watch him fire off a Gatling-style machine gun for 20 seconds.
The shape of Missouri mostly makes sense: It’s bounded by straight lines and river routes, except for one deviation, where suddenly the state’s shape juts out randomly. It’s called Missouri’s bootheel — and it owes its creation to just one guy.
What would deter you from speeding? How about a loud, jarring, and utterly annoying noise emanating somewhere from outside your vehicle?
In what may be the first of its kind, a proposed bill in Missouri would require that parents be notified when evolution is being taught to their children at school. They could then pull them from the class. Critics say the bill would "eviscerate" the teaching of biology.
This is a map of "all meth clandestine laboratory incidents including labs, dumpsites, chem/glass/equipment" in the U.S. in 2012, by state. It was created by the DEA and is freely available on the website of the Department of Justice. Here, in no particular order, are some things we can take away from this map:
No, this snow truck is not jack-knifing, the trailer is supposed to do that. It's the TowPlow and it clears snow-bound lanes in a flash. Are you listening Seattle?
Yeah, that didn't take too long. After seeing how stupid it would be to issue a wholesale ban of internet communication between teachers and their students—free speech shenanigans—a judge and the Missouri House reversed the law, putting a more reasonable bill in its place.
This has to be one of the most repulsive sights I've ever seen. They call them bugnadoes, gigantic vortexes of flying bugs that are invading the Missouri's riverine land every day at dusk. Creepy? It gets worse:
Here's a primer on what's illegal in Missouri (some cities): owning a PVC pipe, having oral sex, minors buying lighters, minors buying cap pistols and now student-teacher Facebook friendships. Seriously, that's banned.
Alligators. Quick, mean and terribly dangerous. Fake lawn ornament alligators. Slow, mean looking but not dangerous at all. Police apparently can't tell the difference between the two because they tried to gun down a fake alligator.
A 3,000 gallon surge of raw sewage sucked a Missouri construction worker one mile through a 27-inch wide sewer pipe before he was finally rescued at the 15th hole of a golf course yesterday. He's recovering in the hospital.