One of the very great pleasures of being an (imbecilic) adult is going to department stores to buy something painfully mundane and taking a detour through the toy department. YOU CAN BUY ALL OF THIS STUFF. It's there, for you, to buy, and you don't have to ask anyone's permission. I've, uh, been at Target a lot the past few weeks, and now there are way too many Nerf guns in my apartment. iPhone apps!
Did you know that 500 percent of children born in the next 13 years will have iPhones (or something) by the time they're old enough to be punched without it being a felony? May as well let them use it for fun kid stuff like scavenger hunts instead of them just taking heroin and snapchatting their internal organs to each other.
Speaking of. Vine got a redesign. Please don't take a Vine of me standing in action figure aisle at Target.