Just a lobster. Photo: Getty

“They are dumb,” Christopher Stracuzza tells the New York Times. “They are like the dumbest people in the world.” They, in this case, are the TSA agents who manhandled his gigantic lobster and went viral with a photo on the agency’s Twitter account.

Stracuzza hit the seafood jackpot on a trip to a market in Connecticut. He picked up 12 standard lobsters and one hulking 20-pound beast. He was planning a big cookout at his home in Savannah, Georgia and he dropped $700 on what would soon be the main course. But first, he had to get the crustaceans home. The big guy went on the bottom of a cooler that was taped up and “Live Lobster!” was scrawled on top.

Advertisement

The 32-year-old auto-body repairman checked the lobster cooler with his luggage at the airport in Boston and picked it back up when he arrived back in Georgia. But the cooler was different when he touched down. The duct tape he’d used had been replaced with tape that said T.S.A. on it. When he got home, he opened the cooler and found the big lobster, which he’d named “Dinnah,” sitting on top of all the smaller lobsters. He was furious. But he became even more furious when a friend called him and said, “Your lobster is all over the internet.”

Advertisement

The friend was referring to this photo that a TSA agent posted and the agency’s official social accounts re-upped:

“Would you want a 500-pound person sitting on top of you?” he asks the Times. And while it might seem weird to be so worried about the emotional state of a creature that you plan to boil alive, you have to admit he has a point. I would not want a 500-pound person sitting on me. Being boiled alive doesn’t take very long. Sitting for hours in the cargo hold of a JetBlue aircraft with that much weight pressing down doesn’t sound fun. “You don’t think a lobster gets stressed too?” Straccuza asked.

Advertisement

A TSA spokesperson tells the Times, “We share images through social media to provide helpful travel tips and to better inform the traveling public about T.S.A.’s mission.” It’s become common for government agencies that the public doesn’t trust to make attempts at being fun on social media. The C.I.A. is a prominent example.

Straccuza isn’t making any demands or attempting to get anyone in trouble. He’s just pissed off.

Advertisement

Who knew that working in auto-body repair affords one the life of a jet-setting lobster aficionado? If Straccuza’s big problem is the mishandling of his extremely expensive food, life can’t be too bad.

[New York Times]