We thought we knew the extent of human shame. We thought wrong. After publishing some of your most mortifying follies involving Gchat, AIM, texting, and email last month, even more stories of the dreaded "wrong window" poured in. And they were so, so much worse.
Below, find 15 more stories that, somehow, are even worse than our originals. In the words of commenter gruffbenjamin, "this whole article is why I no longer go on Tumblr in public places." And if you have any particularly good stories of your own, throw 'em in the comments
AarghaKnot should have worn a tank top:
I was on a video conference call with an out of state client, showing features of the website I was developing for her. I was sharing my screen to show her how the UI worked, and started getting really hot and sweaty. I pulled off my shirt and used it to wipe the sweat from my forehead and armpits. Several minutes later, I switched back to the Skype window, only to realize that I was not in fact sharing my screen, but broadcasting my sweaty flabby torso as I talked about web design. Ugh.
A cautionary tale about pooping while Skyping from Befitzero:
Did something similar with Skype, was using it to chat and show my notes to a 10 of my coworkers I had disabled my phone lock-screen because my phone would time out and turn off the screen. I excused my self for a minute and put my phone in my pocket and went into the bathroom and took my phone and placed it on top of the toilet paper dispenser and proceeded to drop some nasty diarrhea. It was only when I heard a coworker say from my phone "Hey man can you give us a courtesy flush?" that I realized what happened.
I have never wanted to die more in my life then at that exact moment.
WellYouSee has to re-take her Professional Development class this summer:
My boyfriend thinks it is hilarious to set peoples homepage to meatspin.com. When opened, this site immediately starts blaring "You spin me right round baby right round" With a penis spinning around, and another one entering from behind.
I was late to a work training course and couldn't pick up my work computer, so I brought my home laptop to work on. I normally don't use my work computer. It's pretty old and I just have it for when I randomly need it, so I hadn't been on it in at least a month. Naturally, I had to sit in the front of the class after I walked in late. I scramble to open my laptop and the web browser to get caught up with the class. All of sudden meatspin is blaring inside this small quiet classroom of about 15 people. I am so frazzled, I can't figure out how to make the sound stop, close the window, and die of shame at the same time.
The class was called Professional Development.
Those gaddamn millennials! Captain_Crutch elaborates:
I was on the receiving end of a co-worker's very ironic wrong window story. I had IM'd her telling her I wanted to talk with her about a particular project, and after waiting for her to come to my office, had to clarify that I wanted to speak to her in person, not over IM. When she finally came in, I made a lighthearted comment about how strange it was to me that she and her co-workers in the bullpen, who literally sat back to back, often used IM instead of just talking. After she left our meeting, she popped up in my IM window again:
"What a douchebag, always making such a big deal out of the fact that we talk to each other through IM, etc."
My response: "This is why you should talk to people instead of always using IM."
I'm pretty sure she broke the sound barrier running back to my office to apologize. Gen Y, as in "Y the fuck would you ever hire them?"
I know some things' roommate owes her mom a visit:
I had a roommate who once drunkenly texted her mother "visit me sex" (which was intended for a man and was probably supposed to say "Sexy"). She managed to convince her it was an auto-correct for "soon."
MrDioneo still has a job, somehow:
This happened years ago but still haunts me sometimes.
After finishing the config of a customer's router I would always save it and then make it reload so I could make sure it came up okay. After I typed the "reload" command it gave a slightly different response than what I was used to seeing. I figured maybe the router's OS version was a new release or something. Then I heard someone in the office say, "Hey! My phone just died!" That was met with a chorus of agreement from others. I tried accessing the Internet from my PC - also a no go. With dawning horror I realized that the active window I'd typed the "reload" command into wasn't the customer's router, but a console session I'd earlier opened (and forgot to close) with my company's core router. I'd just knocked out data and VoIP services for about 6000 business customers in the middle of a weekday afternoon - including my own office.
The higher up engineers had huddled together to try to figure out what had happened. I could probably have said nothing and gotten away with it but I couldn't bring myself to let them waste so much time - I had to walk up to them and admit that it was my fault. There was nothing to do but wait for this thing to restart and rebuilt its connections - which took around half an hour. The longest half an hour I've ever experienced.
Luckily my place of employment was still small and young enough to give me a mulligan. Needless to say, that mistake was never made again.
What happens when you texting a police chief about poop transplants?dangerous swan found out:
My boyfriend's grandpa had a bad case of C. Diff and was in and out of the hospital a couple years ago, and we'd been texting on and off throughout the day about his condition. I was working as a reporter at the time and was also texting with the local police chief trying to get some information on a homicide. At the time there was a popular story about how feeding patients healthy poop in capsules could help them get over infections like C. Diff, so I decided to excitedly text this to my boyfriend to get him to look it up. So I ended up texting something to the police chief to the effect of, "THE INTERNET SAYS WE SHOULD FEED YOUR GRANDPA OTHER PEOPLE'S POOP."
It was hard to explain.
Why You Shouldn't Use Funny Screennames At Work, a story by aptivadave:
So, we have a bad habit here in IT to use AT&T Connect to do conference calls/desktop sharing for meetings involving...everyone in the building. A lot of it had to do with having only one conference room at the time and using it to hotel consultants who were in working on a project (another really bad habit we have). Well, last spring we were having a conference call to go over some new ITIL procedures and setting up our service catalog and I was having trouble signing into AT&T connect. Never could get the app to show the presenter's desktop and was constantly booted before the meeting started, so out of frustration I put in my display name as Turd Ferguson, with the intent of logging out and using my real name if my issue was fixed.
Well, Turd Ferguson got logged in and then the meeting started, in which I promptly forgot about my screen name. Towards the end of the meeting, my boss (who was just a couple of offices down from me) asked who Mr. Ferguson was, to which I kept quiet. It is a good thing that we work in a pretty laid back office and that it was only IT on the call.
SueDisco has an extraordinarily thoughtful dentist:
I texted my friend about having "awkwardly sunburned my underboob region" (using those words)...except I didn't send it to my friend. I sent it in response to a text from my dentist's office instead. I kept hoping that maybe it went into some system that no one actually checked, but no. The next time I showed up for an appointment they all had a laugh and said they nearly put together a basket of different sunblocks for me.
My g*ddamn kids are in the car, 3TS!
Not text related but I once called my boss and got him on his car phone. I immediately launched into a VERY blue expletive laden tirade about the f*cking idiocy of several managers in the company. After about twenty seconds he cuts me off and said "Dave uh have to stop you there my two kids are in the back". Oops.
At least zfauzzy was polite enough to apologize for the incontinence:
I once sent an email to all 200 employees saying "sorry for the incontinence" instead of "sorry for the inconvenience" (I spelled inconvenience wrong and accepted the first spelling suggestion by accident). I then walked upstairs to talk with some employees.
I realized my mistake when the employees laughed the second they saw me and asked if I was still having problems. When I got back to my desk I had numerous emails expressing sympathy for my bathroom troubles. I now check every email 3 times before I send it.
That's quite a pickup line, caroemperhazy:
I was chatting with a friend about this guy I liked and how hot he was or whatever, so I had the link to a picture of him in control V because I had sent it to my friend, so then, chatting with this guy, I was trying to send him a link of something and didn't realise I hadn't control-c'd it yet so I sent him his picture instead. yay.
This anecdote from AttackBunnies88 about dog fanfic is just weird:
A corporate secretary in the main office sent out a personal email and accidentally added "_all" in the address along with 40+ personal contacts.
Not too big a deal except that it was a multi-page long status update of her life from the viewpoint of her dog, complete with photos and lots of "dog speak". Not only did this go to the whole company, it was just under the email limit of 10mb and actually caused most of the networks for the small remote offices to time out for a few minutes while it was downloading.
Everyone likes the Oprah BEES! Gif, as CapriciousSon found out:
I sent the Oprah BEES! gif to the sysadmin/contact at my biggest client. I apologized, and she never said a word. She seemed to have a sense of humor, though.
Perhaps the cutest comment came from The Bean, who had a completely non-digital wrong window story to share:
One cold winter day when my mother was in Catholic school in the 1950s, her teacher (not a nun) asked her to deliver a note to another teacher, Sister Margaret (a nun in her 80s who lived on campus). My 8 year old mother did as she'd been asked, and returned to the classroom. When she did, the teacher asked her who she had delivered the message to. My mother replied "Sister Margaret." The teacher looked horrified, and explained to the class she'd done a bad thing. The note had said "Noticed Sister Margaret was late this morning. Must have had trouble getting her motor running," and was meant for another younger teacher at the school (Sister Margaret walked to class).