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5 Apple Watch Reviews From People Who Wore It For Like Maybe 3 Minutes

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Yesterday, lucky journalists (including one from Gizmodo!) got their first looks at the long-awaited Apple Watch. These folks even got to sport it on their wrists for a few brief minutes, which gave them slightest glimpse at what using the finished product might actually be like.

So naturally there are already "reviews."

"Beauty first, tech second" proclaims David Phelan of the Independent, who most likely wore the new watch on his wrist for a length of time that is not unfairly measured in seconds.


"Of course it's not totally fair to pass judgment before one has the opportunity to feel the heft of the watch in the hand" admits Adam Tschorn of the LA Times, despite filing a review without actually seeing the watch in person? It's not entirely clear but that is what it sounds like.

"I like that it will come in two sizes" says AP Technology Writer Anick Jesdanun, after assuredly watching an Apple employee perform a few choreographed swipes on the watch he maybe wore himself for four minutes if we're being generous with our guesses.


"It's annoying we don't know the price or the exact release date," Gareth Beavis casually admits in Tech Radar's ever-so-slightly less egregious "Hands on Review" (emphasis mine) of the Apple Watch that will not be released until the spring of 2015.

"I can tap and swipe the touchscreen in the usual manner," elucidates James Dean in The Times UK, presumably having actually done so a half dozen times at most.

Yes, we were all thrilled to get our hands on a prototype version of a wearable that may make "wearable" seem like a less gross thing to say with our mouths. We are all excited to try to suss out what it means and what its future will be. But the Apple Watch needs real reviews even more than your average phone or tablet. Smartwatches are new ground. People will need real advice on whether or not to buy one, and it should be based on actually experience, not cheap SEO.

Of course it's always possible that one or more unsuspecting writers had these headlines thrust upon them. Either way, that was a hands on at best. At least give it a day before you start publishing undercooked reviews.