I've worked in enough offices to recall the temptation of copy machines. "Come here, you bad girl! Use me!" they'd shout, but I'd remain firm in my sensibilities, unlike these office hussies. But let's at least learn something from them.

There are dozens and dozens of pictures of tits and arses shamelessly pressed against copy machine glass over at Vice, but I've sifted through them to pick out some prime examples of office pornography and the nine corresponding basic lessons about life.

Now that I've shown you a few lessons found in this copy machine mischief, go see the rest of the photos at Vice. I want a report of what else you learn on my desk by tomorrow. [Vice — Thanks, Joel!]