An Alarm Clock That Actually Shuts Up When Asked To

Illustration for article titled An Alarm Clock That Actually Shuts Up When Asked To

I tell my alarm clock to shut up constantly, but—unlike the Moshi alarm clock radio—it never listens and I have to fondle it in order to get a few moments of blissful silence. Well, no more of that.


The Moshi alarm clock radio is a basic voice-controlled gadget. You start off commands with "Hello Moshi!" and then proceed to tell the device to take one of eleven different actions. Simple, yet so wonderful.

The gadget is available now for $70. [Moshi]

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(beep, beep)

Me: Hello Moshi. Snooze

Moshi: I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.

Me: Snooze

Moshi: What? You sound a little phlegmy. Try clearing your throat.

Me: (clears throat) Sa - nooooooooze

Moshi: You don't need to be patronizing. I'm not retarded.

Me: Snooze!

Moshi: Okay!

(beeping stops. pause)

Moshi: Would you mind telling me when you intend to wake up then?

Me: What?

Moshi: I just don't see the point of setting the alarm for 8 when you always get out of bed at 9. Instead of snoozing for an hour why not just-

Me: Oh for f*ck's sake! I'm up now are you happy? I'm gonna go now. And when I come back I'm replacing you with a new alarm clock!

(I leave the room)

Moshi: (mutters) Asshole.