In the latest salvo of the ongoing Apple vs FBI salvo, Florida GOP congressman David Jolly has introduced a (doomed) bill banning the federal government from purchasing unpatriotic, terrorist-loving iPhones. Taking this logic to the extreme, here’s a more complete list of products that should be boycotted.
By the deadline for filing amicus briefs today, a who’s-who of Silicon Valley companies have voiced legal support for Apple’s position. If we assume, therefore, that Rep. Jolly would also support a boycott of those companies and their products, here is a short list of things the federal government will no longer be able to use:
Computers containing an Intel processor
Twitter (send comments to @USRepDavidJolly)
Facebook (remember to like Congressman David Jolly)
Phones running Android
Computers running Windows
Windows Phone devices
Gmail, Outlook, Yahoo Mail, Hotmail, or any email hosted on a Microsoft Exchange server
Yahoo! Answers
YouTube
Websites or services hosted on Amazon Web Services
Mobile or landline internet from AT&T
WhatsApp, Snapchat, or Instagram
Networks using Cisco hardware
Nest thermostats
Dropbox or Box (or Google Drive, iCloud, Flickr, or Microsoft OneDrive for that matter)
eBay
Chrome, Internet Explorer, Firefox, or Safari
If you can think of any other 9/11-supporting, ISIS-loving technologies to boycott, feel free to email Congressman Jolly. I’m sure he’ll love reading your messages on his AMD-powered Linux machine via AOL.
