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Unedited: Gizmodo Wishes a Happy Birthday to Our Brian Barrett

Do you know our managing editor Brian Barrett? You should! He appeared in that TV commercial with Beyonce. You know the one. But he’s also one of our best friends and a terrific guy to work with. And today is his birthday. Brian is grappling with being 31, which is actually a very nice age,…

Seriously, Please Don’t Do This

Ever. Ever ever. It makes us uncomfortable. Why? Because there’s always that one picture lurking somewhere. Just give us the phone back. [Alec Sulkin]

The iPhone 5 Is Coming Out in June, Says Parking Lot Attendant

When will the iPhone 5 come out? We’re not sure. But the answer is June, according to this Chinese lady in a remote booth. A Tokyo TV crew accosted the woman, stationed outside Foxconn’s hermetic overtime centrifuge, regarding any new iPhone rumors. She stated, from inside her small parking lot chamber, that the iPhone 5…

Hawaiian Shirt Commando Tests Knives Against Frozen Pig Skull

Here at Gizmodo, we like to think we put our reviewed products through a rigorous, real-life evaluation. That’s one way of doing it. Or, you can test a device by attacking frozen animal corpses while wearing a Hawaiian shirt. This man, our representative from renowned animal-mauling knife-forger ColdSteel, is sporting some very aggressive shorts, isn’t…

Star Wars Jason Derulo Dance Party Is What Kinect Was Born For

You’ll never forget the first time you hear a Jason Derulo song, my old boxing trainer once told me. He was right. But he’d never anticipated this—the meeting of our civilization’s two greatest cultural forces. Dancing Han Solo. What is there to say about this bonus feature in the newest Star Wars gaming title? The…

Anonymous’ Massive Data Leaks Are Being Erased Off the Internet

After every online strike by Anonymous and LulzSec—back when they did that sort of thing—it was inevitable that the leaked goods would wind up on Pastebin, the web’s vandalized bathroom stall. Now, the company wants out of the game. The Register reports Pastebin’s Dutch owner and awesome last name possessor, 28-year-old Jeroen Vader, is tired…

How to Use Your Smartphone at a Concert Without Being A Jerk

Standing behind a giant person at a concert is an old, analog problem. Today’s audience angst comes largely from a blinding mass of giant phones. All around us undulates a constant sea of LCDs. Annoying! You can use your smartphone at a concert, but don’t be unbearable. It’s simple to understand. The experience itself isn’t…

The Strangest and Most Wonderful Photobomb You’ve Ever Seen

This is a story. The story of a young woman, brown of hair and unsure of heart, and her new dress. This is also the story of another woman in the dressing room, heart full of cocaine and smartphone love. Have you ever seen a face like that? What brought on her joy? Why is…

Foxconn Workers: Please Let Us Work More!

After the people Apple hired to clear its name wrote up a gloomy report of Foxconn working conditions, the manufacturer vowed to reform. First up: shorter, legal working days. But now these overworked workers want to keep overworking. What? https://gizmodo.com/overworked-and-in-danger-the-full-foxconn-labor-report-5897593 Foxconn says it’s going to bring its employees under the dictates of Chinese law, which…

An Open Letter To the 5 Million Confused People Who Bought a Samsung Galaxy Note

“Bro, it’s so big.” That’s an actual thing I heard from an actual person. The man was a personal trainer at my gym, the “it” was a Galaxy Note mutant phone. He clenched the massive thing in his iron grip. https://gizmodo.com/samsung-galaxy-note-lightning-review-wait-who-ordered-5886054 For some reason, he loves it. I wish he didn’t. Because he and the…

This Super Face-Scanning Software Thinks It Can Guess Your Age

Here’s a pleasant first little look at Skynet—Face.com, which develops facial recognition software, now boasts that it can pinpoint your age based on your mug alone. Let’s test it out. The software is meant for developers to use in their apps—say, a browser extension that would block certain sites when kids were on the computer.…

Overworked and In Danger: The Full Foxconn Labor Report

The Fair Labor Association, a workers’ rights watchdog group, was hired by Apple to inspect its Foxconn operation—under a considerable amount of flak recently. So what’d they find? Illegal working hours, legal pay, crooked unions, and danger. Even though Apple paid for the study, the findings—which tapped over 35,000 anonymous Foxconn employees over the course…

Glorious Apple Leader Surprises iPad Minions with Foxconn Visit and Smiles

Apple CEO and fleece jacket advocate Tim Cook is in China, and decided to swing by the factory that cranks out our pads and phones. Maybe it’s just all the n-hexane in the air, but things look cheery! Extra rations! We’re not exactly sure what Mr. Cook did at the factory besides wear that cute…

Google Is Pathetically Asking You to Thank People Who’ve Used Google+

Well, this is officially sad, desperate, and annoying! Google+ is now reminding us that we have no manners, and ought to thank the people who have liked (probably by accident) a link via the abandoned social network. Oh my goodness! Now that Google is interfering with search results by jamming Plus data into our esophaguses,…

You Can Buy a Kindle Fire for $140 Today (!)

The Kindle Fire is arguably the best Android tablet you can get—and at 200 bucks, already a killer deal. Now you can buy a (refurbished) Fire for 140. If you want an Android tablet, you should probably do this. https://gizmodo.com/kindle-fire-review-the-ipad-finally-has-serious-compet-5858779 Amazon says the refurbished units are “tested [and] certified to look and work like new.”…

Over a Year Later, Fukushima’s Radiation Is Still Fatal

What a difference a year makes: none. Reactor #2 at Fukushima Daichi is still leaking enough radiation to kill you. Al Jazeera reports “One of Japan’s crippled nuclear reactors still has fatally high radiation levels and much less water to cool it than officials had estimated, according to an internal examination that renews doubts about…

Occupy Wall Street and the War to Free All Internet

The “Occupy Movement” might be nebulous, but it’s at least a stirring cross-section of ideas. One of them, as followed by Motherboard’s latest doc, “Free the Network,” was the idea to create an internet owned by the people. It kinda worked. The movie is a long watch (by thin internet standards), but well worth it,…

The F-35 Looks Like a Stealth Spaceship at Night

If it’s going to cost us a trillion dollars and not do much, then let’s at least be glad the F-35 makes for some pretty photo ops: here it is on its very first night refueling mission, glowing like it’s flying over the moon. What are we seeing here, exactly? What’s that tentacle space probe?…

This Horrible/Amazing Man Makes $1,000 a Day on Pinterest (Updated)

And you thought Pinterest was only useful for lonely pastry fantasy. This anonymous conman talked to the Daily Dot, and boy does he have an easy job: fooling Pinterest’s lonely materialists into clicking Amazon spam links. For money. It works like this. Pinterest Spammer creates thousands of fake accounts, probably with regular breaks to stare…