Awesome New UFO Theory: Approaching Comet is Really a Borg Cube From Jesus

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There's nothing better than a wild UFO conspiracy theory — unless it's a UFO theory that wraps in a debunked comet, the Catholic Church, and Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Conspiracy theorists believe that Comet Elenin is rapidly approaching Earth, and that it's a perfect cube. A cube piloted by cyborgs who seek to assimiliate the human race into their collective. A Borg Cube, in other words. Yes, the writers of Star Trek: The Next Generation "were being prophetic" when they created the Borg, writes extraterrestrial expert Alex Collier over at the Canadian National Newspaper.


(For what it's worth, NASA says Comet Elenin was destroyed in October, and it was never going to be an issue in any case. But that's just what you'd expect them to say.)

So Comet Elenin wasn't actually destroyed, and it's a perfect cube, and this proves the Borg are real. Okay. But it doesn't stop there — apparently this Borg cube is known as the Galactic Obliteration Device, or G.O.D. for short. And there's tons of evidence that Christianity and the Bible are really about how Jesus is a Borg and he's coming to assimilate us. Just look at the image up top, depicting "Jesus of Borg." Apparently this is spelled out in the Book of Revelation.


Over at the Luciferian Liberation Front, there's an article that spells out how going to Heaven is really a metaphor for joining the Borg:

When we dissect the cube of heaven we see that it is constructed like a living cell with its own system of energy circulation and metabolism. (See diagram) From all appearances it is a giant soular battery/generator which allows the ONE mind of the collective G.O.D. to be able to feed off the life essences of the enslaved souls held within its "temple pillars" and redirect their energies according to the will of the ONE. ... Will YOU be a "pillar" in the temple of God?Those spirits which have little or no self-will and have been sufficiently programmed to serve G.O.D. during their lives will have the highest nourishment potential. The Bible tells us what will happen to those who are selected as purest and most worthy to provide sustenance to G.O.D. They will be made "pillars" in the temple of God (Rev. 3:12). They will become a PART of the New Jerusalem and will nourish G.O.D. and "their tears will be wiped away and there shall be no more death neither sorrow nor crying neither shall there be any more pain for the FORMER THINGS are passed away." (Rev. 21:4) Sure, there won't be any more crying! All their memories will be wiped clean. They will no longer exist in a form that is recognizable to them or anyone else.


There's also a nice bit where they compare eternal life in Heaven to joining the Q Continuum, which Star Trek: Voyager proved was so boring that members of the Continuum would choose to commit suicide or become Civil War reenactors.

So will YOU be ready when Jesus of Borg arrives?