Breasts: An Ideal Place to Keep Your iPhone

Illustration for article titled Breasts: An Ideal Place to Keep Your iPhone

If you are a woman who likes to run or bike or trek, but don't want to use a special iPhone/iPod touch case or pouch, sexual health expert Dr. Debby Herbenick uses a different, more straightforward method, which apparently works:

Yesterday I was reading a post on Gizmodo that talked about how, among other things, the only way to really test certain gadgets is to take them outside and use them in the real world (as in, there's only so much you can know about a waterproof camera without using it wholeheartedly during fun summer outdoor oceanside play).


For me what came to mind is my iPhone. People who know me know that I love the outdoors and I generally have a pretty low-key lifestyle. I don't wear a lot of make-up in my day to day life. I pretty much wash my hair and go, so it's often wet if you see me before 10am. And whether clothes require dry cleaning or ironing play a large role in whether or not I will even purchase them (unless they are beautiful dresses, for which I have a weakness).

I also spend a lot of time outdoors walking, running, biking, swimming, tossing a frisbee or sitting outside reading. Being someone who enjoys their solitude, I do many of these things by myself. And because I like to make sure I can get help if needed, my iPhone almost always joins me on my excursions.

When I run, I leave it at home (I don't run far enough for it to be a big deal). But when I go on long walks or even short bike rides, I bring my phone and yet I need my hands to be free, so I have to put my iPhone somewhere. As practical as so-called fanny packs may be, I refuse to wear them so my iPhone almost always ends up in my breasts/sports bra. In my case, this is a pretty decent place to keep it although - like sex - some positions work better than others.

I've found that having the iPhone totally immersed in said breasts (top photo) is the best for keeping the iPhone safe during my walks and bike rides so that it doesn't accidentally fall out and meet an untimely death or cracked LED or screen. On the down side, my walks sometimes last for an hour or longer and, if I accidentally turn the screen toward my skin rather than my clothes, then the iPhone's screen gets quite smeared (I slather my entire body with lotion each morning to keep it soft, so it may be the lotion - and not just sweat - that's getting on the screen). But you know that look that your iPhone screen gets if you hold it in the palm of your hands for 10 minutes, or up against your face while talking on the phone for longer? It's that times ten, which is kind of gross.

I've tried to keep more of the iPhone peeking out of my clothes (see middle photo) but I've had a few near-drops so have nixed that position.

Illustration for article titled Breasts: An Ideal Place to Keep Your iPhone

When I first got my iPhone, I thought it would be held in place better if I tucked it under my sports bra straps (see bottom photo) but not only did that feel awkward, it also nearly slipped out a few times. Hence, the top position won. (Oh, and in case you're wondering about keeping it in my shorts - that's a big no. The waist band on my running shorts is not tight enough and I don't wear lyrca biking shorts, which would probably work fine for holding the iPhone since they can't slip through the bottom as they can with running shorts).

Illustration for article titled Breasts: An Ideal Place to Keep Your iPhone

I do worry sometimes that the sweat and/or lotion will - over time (or on a very warm day) - be enough to cause water damage to my iPhone and be detectable as such at the Apple store. And then I wonder if the guys at the Genius bar will consider storing one's iPhone in one's breasts as "normal use" or as "mis-use"? Would the hypothetically damaged phone be able to be switched out? Would this be a very awkward conversation at the Apple store when I swear that while I didn't drop it in a puddle, I did regularly keep it in my breasts while biking? Well, let's just hope it doesn't come to that. It would be awkward (but funny) to have to demo this at the Apple store.


UPDATE: I've been told that my use of the word "slather" was perhaps too sultry. It wasn't intended as such. Let me clarify: I put on a bunch of lotion. On all 65.5 inches of me. And the entire process takes about 5 seconds. Hence, I say "slather" rather than "place" lotion. [My Sex Professor]

Dr. Debby Herbenick, author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction, is the Associate Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion in the School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation at Indiana University (IU) where she is a Research Scientist. She is also a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction where she writes (and hosts audio podcasts of) the Kinsey Confidential column and coordinates educational programming. She has a PhD in Health Behavior from IU, a Master's degree in Public Health Education (also from IU) and a bachelor's degree in psychology from the University of Maryland, College Park. In addition, she is certified as a Sexuality Educator from the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists.

Debby writes regular sex columns for Men's Health magazine, Time Out Chicago magazine, Velocity, Cheeky Chicago, Psychology Today and she has also written for Glamour magazine.




You are placing the iPhone's RF antenna towards your skin which results in much higher radiation into your flesh (much higher SAR numbers than what the phone is rated for). There is data suggesting that long-term exposure to this radiation can be hazardous to your health.

Therefore, if you do not turn off the RF functions, I do not recommend doing this.