Do you hate reading as much as we do? It's so frustrating to have to use language made from signifiers placed together in a grammatically correct fashion!

Most of the new iPad reviews drone on and on for hundreds or thousands of words, poring over specs and details and stuff. Too much reading! And, like, cutting into TV time. So we made it better.


We fixed curated the reviews from all the top pubs by jacking them into Wordle and turning all that cumbersome text into snack-sized word clouds that give greater prominence to frequently used words. Now you won't have to learn to read! We also took out the words "new" "Apple" and "iPad" because otherwise those three words dominated all of the reviews (aside from Jim Dalrymple's in The Loop, kudos Jim, rub that beard for me) to such an extent that everything else is nonsense. Finally, we summarized the review for you below each word cloud.

There! Let's go huff some gasoline!

1. The Verge

New iPad really like!

2. TechCrunch


New iPad amazing fast!

3. Wall Street Journal


New iPad display improved!

4. The Loop


New iPad like read good!

5. Macworld


Third-Generation iPad just display!

6. Daring Fireball


New iPad like battery display!

7. The New York Times


New iPad screen better!

Why yes, that was a reference, you old-timer, you.


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