Finally, the Batman Forever Toys Someone Somewhere Probably Dreamed Of

Apparently, director Schumacher wanted the superhero costumes to look like highly muscled male anatomy, à la ancient Greek sculptures. However, this looks more like one of those anatomy dummies without the skin so medical students can see the muscles underneath.

Batman is holding his special Sonic Batarang from the movie, which is actually a really great and arguably more practical version of his normal batarangs. Those are shaped like boomerangs, of course, while this is more of a throwing star—which is how Batman uses them about 90 percent of the time. The accessory is foldable as per the movie, which you can see below.

Note the sonar lenses! I had completely forgotten Batman Forever gave the Caped Crusader this doohickey before Christian Bale’s Batman used it in The Dark Knight to take down the Joker’s goons. It’s kind of odd that one of the best Batman movies and one of the worst used the same tech.

In addition to the Sonic Batarang, the figure comes with a Batarang Launcher, a Bat-Clamp Launcher, and an Underwater Thruster, and as God is my witness, I don’t know which is which. I think the thing on the upper-right is the Underwater Thruster, so the item on the lower-left would be one of the Launchers. (The other is pictured on the next slide.) If anyone’s seen Batman Forever recently, I would greatly appreciate an assist in the comments! Because there’s no way I’m going to watch the movie to figure this out.

...and a collage of everything that comes with the figure. The second Launcher is in the right column, third picture down; it looks like it shoots Batarangs, but I just don’t know for sure. Anyway, the whole Bat-kit and Bat-kaboodle will run you $255 if you pre-order it over at Sideshow Collectibles, but it won’t be shipped to your personal Bat-cave until sometime between April and June 2022.

It’s kind of meaningless to say, given that Hot Toys almost always makes stunningly accurate likenesses, but damn that’s an accurate likeness of Chris O’Donnell in the movie, right down to the odd swirls of his hair.

I never, ever noticed Batman Forever’s Robin has a tiny version of his “R”-symbol on his eyemask before. I posit that’s it’s exactly as ludicrous as the nipple since they both serve the same purpose, which is absolutely nothing.

Again, stunningly accurate detail, right down to his disturbingly prominent robin’s eggs.

Look, the Bat-cave is still a cave, and as rich as Bruce Wayne, there’s absolutely no way he could effectively build a heating system that could take care of the entire chasm. I’m just saying, nipples are gonna get hard.

Robin doesn’t come with nearly the amount of accessories as Batman does and he costs a cool $245, which is only $10 less. But can you really put a price on having a tiny Chris O’Donnell in your collection? You can pre-order him here, and he’s also due in spring 2022.

Here’s what’s most exciting to me about these figures—this means there’s a very good chance Hot Toys has Batman & Robin figures in the works, and if that’s true, there’s absolutely no way we’re not getting Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze eventually. It’ll be ice to see him!

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