You know all those stranger-than-fiction news headlines detailing the bizarre exploits of someone identified only as “Florida man”? Imagine that all of those headlines referred to a single person, and that this person is superhero who causes mayhem wherever he goes.
Twitter account @_FloridaMan collects the wackiest “Florida man” headlines, creating a chronology of a superpowered guy who just can’t win.
Florida Man Busted In Dinosaur-Smuggling Caper | http://t.co/w8bc7Yit
— Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) February 9, 2013
Florida Man Accused Of Using Whizzinator, Flees | http://t.co/swaPtgUj
— Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) February 9, 2013
Florida Man's Internet Date Ends In Home Invasion | http://t.co/pAKduCfl
— Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) February 9, 2013
Naked Florida Man Runs Through Dunkin' Donuts | http://t.co/xMEbuJ0N
— Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) February 9, 2013
Florida Man Arrested For Stealing 166 Manhole Covers | http://t.co/O50G0TR4
— Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) February 9, 2013
Florida Man Disguises Himself As 'The Sun', Steals Logo Towel | http://t.co/2vNwdStf
— Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) February 9, 2013
Florida Man Arrested For Giving Wedgies | http://t.co/Ol7g584H
— Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) February 8, 2013
Looking over this list, though, I think the account creator has it wrong. Florida Man isn’t a superhero; he’s the world’s saddest supervillain. Even when he sets his sights on something as low as a wedgie, he’s bound to be defeated.
Florida Man [via MetaFilter]
