Game of Thrones and Xbox Just Had an Ugly Baby

Illustration for article titled iGame of Thrones/i and Xbox Just Had an Ugly Baby

The French always gotta be one upping America. We declare independence and throw tea in a harbor as a middle finger to the king. They revolt and decapitate their king. We invent fast food. They invent chocolate croissants. We release the best season of Game of Thrones yet (with some help from the limeys). They release a... Game of Thrones Xbox One.

The shit brown Xbox One is being given away as part of a sweepstakes in France. Sure, it would look classy sitting on a shelf in Cersei Lannister’s boudoir. The special edition looks sort of like Cersei got drunk on garbage wine, carved a fancy wooden box, and inexplicably slapped some Xbox labels on it. Of course, the console is going to look thirty kinds of gawdy sitting in the living room of the lucky French Xbox fan who wins it.

Illustration for article titled iGame of Thrones/i and Xbox Just Had an Ugly Baby

And you know what isn’t cool—besides the shameful attempt at capitalizing on a megatrend? That fucknut crown the Xbox One is rocking. Is that a handle for when you fling it at peasants? A cradle to hold the massive nutsack you’d have to be for showing this off in your living room?

We don’t know!

If you’re still looking at it and thinking, “Man I want to hop on the Game of Thrones gravy train so bad I’ll forever link it to my every gaming whim,” then go enter the sweepstakes on Xbox France’s Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook accounts.


Senior Consumer Tech Editor. Trained her dog to do fist bumps. Once wrote for Lifetime. Tips encouraged via Secure Drop, Proton Mail, or DM for Signal.

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I don’t think it’s a crown, I think it’s supposed to be the armillary sphere from the opening credits. Still ugly as sin, though.