KFC's Double Down will kill you someday. But we wanted to see what eating the greasiest finger-food known to mankind would do to a touchscreen device. The result: A disabled iPad and two ruined stomachs.
The Double Down, for the uninitiated, is a breadless sandwich: two oversized chicken patties between which lie two bacon strips, two cheese slices, and "special" sauce that's anything but. The less said about the taste the better, other than it's possibly the saltiest—and, most importantly, greasiest—thing we've ever eaten, especially with our bare hands.
More to the point: if you attempt to consume this thing and use a touchscreen device—be it phone, tablet, ebook reader, or other—be prepared to render touchscreen device rank and unusable, its joys obscured by a thick film of fat and grease and sauce and self-loathing. Which would be a shame, since for every Double Down you eat you've got so much less time left on this earth to enjoy them. [Special thanks and apologies to Kyle and his iPad]