Laptop Giveaways, Fat Suction, and Other Stories We Didn't Post

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So much news passes before our collective eyes every day that we couldn't possibly cover it all. Mostly because much of it isn't worth covering! But here are a some borderline tidbits we passed on, just in case.

Suction Cup Device Pulls Up Fat People's Bellies

Ideally, this device—just a student project for now—helps you breathe if you are very very terribly obese. But if you're at the point where you need a suction cup to pull up your belly to help you breathe, are you even able to lift said device into position? [Futurity]

Robbers Know You're a Sucker By Your Beats Headphones

You're more likely to get mugged if you're wearing Beats headphones, apparently. And you know what? Good! Now you can go buy some cans that are actually worth the money. [NY Post]

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Australia Invokes Oprah, Buys Laptops for Students

One Laptop Per Child just scored its biggest contract, with Australia putting millions of dollars towards 50,000 laptops for its children. That's about 10%, by the way—so more like if Oprah only handed out her favorite things to the front row. [Techworld]