In the Lost Girl season finale, Isaac reveals the details of his sinister scheme: he wants humanity to ascend to a new level of terrible acting.
For some reason the first few minutes of this episode felt really abrupt and detached. I had the strange feeling I'd missed an episode. But no. It was just weird. Some girls from the kitsune sorority act ditzy and slutty and reveal that Tamsin is at the end of her valkyrie life cycle. They also mention to Bo that Tamsin is involved with a bad guy. "Voldemort bad." Whoa, don’t cross the cultural streams, kitsune!
This episode was just all over the place, wasn’t it? I think I hit some kind of a wall with Lost Girl this week, where the abysmal acting, nonsense plot, and ridiculous costumes finally started to outweigh the fun I used to have watching this. There’s pretty much one thing that happened that prevented me from throwing my hands up in disgust, and I’ll get to that in a minute. But seriously, that…thing Bo was wearing with the shoulder windows was almost a dealbreaker.
I’m just going to give you pictures of shirtless Dyson this week to make you feel better.
In the meantime, Bo and Tamsin get captured by Isaac’s troops to get into his base. In the prison cells, Aife does the “I’m so crazy” act and tells Dyson that Isaac kept asking who the “most powerful fae” is. Instead of the truth (Bo, apparently), she told him it was Dyson.
Isaac explains his plan to Lauren: he wants her to inject him with Dyson’s stem cells so that Isaac will gain fae superpowers because that’s how scientifimagic stuff works. “This is about evolution,” he says, and therefore should have his Scientist Club Secret Decoder Ring revoked forever. Lauren also seems quite sure that this process will kill Dyson, and even seems a little evil when she says she has the chance to, “Take out the one man who stood in my way.” It was only kind of evil though, because Lauren seemed to have been sedated at some point. She mumbled her way through the episode without a single facial expression of any kind.
Oh wait, real quick, let’s try to give Isaac some backstory and motivation so he’s not just a total cardboard cutout. How about his little brother was killed by a wendigo when they were kids? Perfect!
In Lost Girl land, here’s how taking a bone marrow sample works: first, there’s the windup. Then, you slam a needle into someone’s leg. Don’t worry about aim, just jab it in wherever. That’s it! You’re a sciencer! It’s fyoo-tile to resist.
Back in Isaac’s prison, Tamsin and Bo power up with some magic valkyrie Redbull they scored from Massimo the druid earlier. They pretend fight so the guards come and let them out of the cell. That’s how guarding people works. If they do something unusual, you let them out so they can explain themselves. Instead, Tamsin does valkyrie face and tells them all to lose consciousness. They do. Aife has one of the episode’s best lines that doesn’t involve Bo admitting she doesn’t wear panties: “If your father was here, he’d kill them all, and then resurrect them and kill them again!”
Then Tamsin and Bo fight. I’m trying really hard to understand the sequence of events here. I think this is accurate. Tamsin makes a snarky comment. Bo arbitrarily decides this means Tamsin is going to betray her. Tamsin throws the druid’s magic potion, but it doesn’t appear to do anything. They call each other nasty names. They have a fight scene that makes Kirk vs. the Gorn look like Jet Li vs. Jackie Chan. Then they polish off a bottle of wine together (off camera). They get weepy. There’s a lot of, “You’re perfect.” “No, you’re perfect.” They almost kiss.
Isaac develops super speed and Jessie Spano Syndrome and stabs Aife, but Dyson suffers no ill effects from the procedure because Lauren never operated on him, surprise twist. She actually gives Isaac some other random fae’s stem cells. Dyson chases Isaac around and apparently eats him. The wolf transform FX, especially when it was just Dyson’s face getting all feral and fangy, were quite good.
So I guess this whole Isaac storyline is over? Thank goodness, because whatever promise it showed in the last episode turned into a flaccid belch of pointlessness and some of the worst acting I’ve ever seen from fully clothed performers.
Luckily, that wasn’t all that was going on. We find Kenzi being interrogated by the Morrigan and her enormous bodyguard, Bruce. The wards against violence in Trick’s chambers prevent any serious torture, and Kenzi wins over Bruce, who despite his size and deep voice has a PhD in medieval studies. He has a crush on Kenzi and recites a poem for her, explaining it was actually a magical artifact that Hale gave her, the Twig of Zemora, that saved her. I wonder what the Berries of Zemora do. Poor Zemora.
The Kenzi/Bruce stuff was pretty cute, especially Kenzi falling in love with the Ford GT. I hope Bruce sticks around. Looks like Trick is going away for a bit, as Hale, who’s getting out of politics, rescues him and sends him off with Stella to Scotland to lay low.
And then the saving grace. Vex returns! He uses his mesmer powers to torture the Morrigan. He leaps around on a bed. He says Vexy things. And my hope has been restored. All is right in Lost Girl world.
Well, mostly. Bo’s dad, The Wanderer, makes an appearance. Showing up on the road with his back to Tamsin and Dyson, just as he appears on the Tarot card, was a nice creepy touch. Tamsin drives through him, he turns into smoke, they fly off a cliff and land upside down.
Then the Wanderer accosts Bo. She’s surrounded by smoke and disappears. In her place is a Wanderer Tarot card. But now Mssr. Wanderer has a traveling companion at his side.
This post originally appeared on Gothic.net.