On This Week's Archer, Sterling Meets An Old Foe, Becomes A Verb

Illustration for article titled On This Week's Archer, Sterling Meets An Old Foe, Becomes A Verb

The second Archer episode of its sixth season is even better than the first, and it hints at what's to come in its title: "Three to Tango." A trip to Argentina perhaps? Spoilers ahead!


At the behest of the CIA and Christian Slater (playing a version of himself that enjoys sports metaphors and insists on being called "Slater: it's a mononym!") Sterling Archer and Lana are off to Buenos Aires to extract ... wait for it ... the dreaded double agent Conway Stern. ("Are you out of your shitting mind?" Archer shrieks, reminding all assembled that Stern stabbed him in the back the last time they tangled. "Literally! The back! Stabbed it!")

Slippery Slater, however, convinces the duo to take the assignment, and they touch down in Argentina engaged in an argument that'll wind throughout the episode: who will take care of baby AJ if something happens to both of them? Clearly, letting grandma Malory raise the child is the worst idea ever, especially considering the ep's other story line, which concerns the infant going missing at the office. (More on that later, but Lana has to tell him that her parents, or her sister, will handle any and all emergency child rearing.)

First, though, there's the issue of Mr. Stern. Lana would just as soon knock on the door and be civil about the reunion, but Sterling is primed for a room-bursting REVENGE RAMPAGE! A knock-down, drag-out fight (where did those cymbals come from?) ensues between the men, while Lana calmly rummages around, making tea. Stern now has a bionic hand, courtesy of Krieger, to replace the one that was ripped off, courtesy of Lana, which makes way for Luke Skywalker/Star Wars jokes galore, courtesy of Archer (including a perfectly timed "Boring conversation anyway...")

Once the dust settles (though the insults don't: "Rescue me from what? Your mom's antique vagina?" Stern says to Archer), Stern reveals he can't leave Argentina until he obtains a disc containing top-secret intel on the CIA agents stationed in the country. Lana and Archer go into undercover mode (Archer, naturally, has a hard time keeping his cool) to help Stern, leading to shootouts; much faux-Spanish; Archer's declaration that "I'm Archerizing this plan! I'm a verb now, Lana ... deal with it!"; one Gaius Baltar reference; another double cross; and another severed hand. Though it seems like chaos, it's not long before we realize good old Slater ("Just...Slater!") was pulling the strings the entire time.

Meanwhile, back at the office, the baby is missing! Malory questions Cheryl and Pam in the bathroom (Cheryl doesn't hate babies ... just "baby people;" a primed-to-poop Pam will be happy to help search in "five, teen, 40 minutes"), then thinks back on her own actions. "I made a drink, my furrier called ... spoiler alert, he's robbing me blind!") before remembering Krieger was lurking around at that very moment. And indeed, AJ is recovered in the lab, unharmed, though there's a rather detailed baby-skeleton diagram up on Krieger's chalkboard. Malory makes sure he knows any further interactions with the baby will result in a gunshot to the genitals, after which Malory "will sip amontillado sherry until you bleed to death."


But Krieger isn't planning to turn the baby into a robot, as everyone suspects. (Well, who really knows. He still might be.) What he does have going on in his lair is a wonderfully ghoulish animatronic teddy bear, who we can only hope will make another appearance ASAP, and do even more tap dancing. Please?

Overall, a funnier, more fast-paced episode than last week. This season's promised "return to missions and fighting and action" seems well underway. Bring on the danger zone!