Today, Kim Kardashian West tweeted out a strangled cry for help.
Then, she tweeted out an illustration of a BlackBerry and an emoji of herself crying.
Kim’s devotion to the BlackBerry brand is well documented, but it’s clear from these tweets that her passion has made her desperate. Her beloved BlackBerry Bold has died, and now she’s left without her best friend. (Sorry, Jonathan Cheban. You’re a distant second here.)
For a while now, the two have had a symbiotic relationship: BlackBerry provides Kim with... a keyboard, I guess, and BlackBerry Messenger? And Kim, for her part, has been perhaps the sole reason the BlackBerry brand has stayed in the headlines, except for all those stories about its demise.
But now, with the death of her Boldest pal, Kim is lost. Afloat in the vast ocean of modernity without her warm fruit-phone to keep her company. What the hell is she going to do? And what of BlackBerry, whose other fans, the US government, are also about to disappear?
Please, leave your suggestions in the comments. It might be her only hope.